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Children interpret and create meaning from everything they observe. They form a narrative about themselves and their place in the world. Roxy Manning shares how the stories of parents contribute to this narrative. Roxy shares a personal story where she, in an attempt to highlight her son's intellectual gifts, unintentionally influenced him to believe he couldn't do things on his own and wasn't...

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Article

2 pages

I want to hear others through the lens of the meaning their actions have for them rather than through the effect their actions have on me. The very root of empathy resides in this fundamental shift. Whenever someone’s actions are at odds with our own needs, most of us, most of the time, do the latter. In that way, we keep our attention on ourselves rather than on the other person. We cannot be...

The human brain is a conservative organ that comprises different systems with varying degrees of conscious awareness, which evolved in three basic stages of human history (the lizard-squirrel-monkey brain.) In my understanding, we could say, the brain has strong needs for understanding, order, predictability and meaning. In fact, one of its key functions is to process experiences, and predict...

For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun.

Empathy guessing when I was new to NVC seemed magical and mysterious. How could that other person have known that about me? And seen inside me — often in ways I'd missed myself. While empathy is both intuitive and an art, there is also a science to it. In this brief yet fascinating introduction to Dian's course, Empathy Hacking, you'll learn a super-practical way to demystify empathy guessing...

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Article

5 - 7 minutes

When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships,...

Listen and learn how to: Talk about NVC in a way that has meaning and relevance for companies and organizations, showing a clear ROI (return on investment). Draw on different applications of NVC for the workplace: addressing change in management, management issues / styles, morale / teamwork, employee retention, etc. Create a value-based training proposal (with different service and product...

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Article

10 - 15 mins

The question “Is X an evaluation?” (where “X" represents whatever word is under discussion) has taken up some controversy in the NVC network. Often, context changes the meaning and assessment of words (eg. use of the term "domination" as in "You’re trying to dominate me!” vs. “domination societies”). Read on for several questions that can support understanding whether a term is evaluative, and...

Building relationships happens through dialogue and understanding the deeper meaning behind the words spoken. It’s about active listening that focuses on feelings and needs so you may truly comprehend the speaker’s message. In this video, Duke introduces two components of communication and how the restorative dialogue process supports mutual understanding.

In this recorded telecourse, John Kinyon, world renowned CNVC Certified Trainer, offers an overview and practice with four elements of empathy – presence, understanding/meaning, need language and deepening into needs.

Transforming organizational culture requires attention and change at the systemic level. Learn which systems are crucial for any organization to establish and clarify whether that organization is collaborative or not, and then learn how to create and strengthen a collaborative organization.

In this course recording, you'll encounter new abilities and learn how to collaborate effectively from WITHIN a team. You'll be invited to build on interpersonal relationships, and branch out into the exciting challenges present when people work together toward a shared purpose.

Although we are evolutionarily designed for collaborating with others when attending to our basic needs, the weight of the systems and cultural messages we have inherited interfere. Many of us are doubtful that collaboration is possible or effective, and most of us lack both the faith and the skills to live collaboratively, regardless of cultural imperatives. Miki helps us navigate this terrain.

Don’t know how to effectively work through differences with others in your organization? You are not alone… Like most of us, you simply lack the training and skills – and that’s what you’ll acquire listening to this course recording. Join Miki and learn specific tools and tips that work – for everyone!

Join Aya Caspi, a Certified NVC Trainer, as she delves into the difficult topic of parenting, childhood trauma, and social status. She discusses the generational impact of being labeled by society as "less than" or subservient. The wounds of childhood trauma can be healed so they no longer are a means of control by a dominant culture.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Sometimes I wish others would make it easy for me to live my values. If other people would just do their part, I wouldn’t have to work so hard at doing mine. Can you relate? However, if I support peace in the world, this means I act peacefully because it’s important to me, not because it’s important to others. Identify your most important value today. Then live it. Notice how...

Trainer Tip: In Compassionate Communication, we consider needs to be universal. That means that while we all have the same needs, such as for love, support, shelter, food, joy, caring, etc., we choose different ways to meet our needs.

Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries around reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling...

Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.

It can be difficult to be authentic when that means saying no. So how do we say no in a way that invites people to listen? Here are our four top tips for finding the courage to say no.