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When deciding if someone crossed your boundaries and how to respond, you may get conflicting opinions on it. These opinions can be coarse attempts to manage life with rules about what should(n’t) happen. Instead, so that you can find where you want to invest your energy, ask yourself questions that reveal what for you is truly in integrity, nourishing, connects to your heart, and deepens self understanding. Read on for examples.

When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

Trainer Tip: Research shows long-term change comes when people have intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while we're observed (eg. driving the speed limit when police are there). Notice where you're mostly intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. How does this feel? For instance, do you call mom because you want to connect with her? Or because you’re worried she’ll be hurt if you don’t?

Trainer Tip: Let's start an abundance movement! We get great joy from contributing to others lives and allowing them to contribute to ours, let's not let fear get in the way.

Listen in as Mary deftly blows the role of facilitator wide open in this excerpt from her very popular 2021 course, Facilitate NVC Groups with Joy and Confidence. She also covers a variety of useful tips such as what to do if you feel lost or confused, how to trust your gut, and ideas around utilizing empathy for yourself!

Trainer Tip: The needs we focus on meeting and the strategies we use to meet those needs change over time. Mary shares about the life-serving nature of change.

Enjoy Dian's overview of the 4-step model and its application to the workplace. Learn how NVC can help you: generate intrinsic motivation… discover creative solutions… create greater accountability and buy-in…reinforce behaviors you like and change others… and experience a LOT more fun, joy and aliveness at work!

Dear friends,

How was 2024 for you? For me, it was a bumpy ride. There were moments of joy spending time with our 3-year-old grandson, mine and Kim’s first international trip together (a bonafide vacation that was void of work), and precious time with family and friends. There was also heartbreak...

• Understand the destructive dynamics that keep love from blossoming
• Learn how to deal with expectations, disappointments, and judgment
• Transform guilt, shame, and obligations into a flow of creativity
• Find out what tiny details are preventing natural love to flow!v

Enjoy listening to Miki make the distinction between leadership as a position and leadership as an orientation to life. The theme: when is it time to actively step into your vision?! Check it out.

Enjoy listening in as Arnina assists participants in fine tuning what they wish for their futures, and what practices they intend to embrace as the course winds down. She also offers strategies for what they can do if they forget their intended practice, and revisits the importance of untangling Needs from Core Belief.

Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.

Trainer tip: Judging others can affect our ability to communicate effectively with that person, or enjoy the relationship. Translating the static judgments (enemy images) we have of others into our own and others' feelings and needs can help us move into greater understanding, healing, and relief -- which can foster compassion and connection. Read on for more.

The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns.

Trainer Tip: Meetings can be unproductive when the participants aren’t clear about their needs or what they want from the group. When participants express opinions without expressing a need or informing the group of what they want, the meeting lacks clarity. Instead, if we can focus on naming our needs and make related requests, we can get closer to resolution much faster and enjoy the process more. Read on for an example.

Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

Trainer tip: Comparisons are a form of judgment. The minute we compare ourselves to other people, we are setting ourselves up for pain and discouragement. We are setting them up too, and erecting a barrier between ourselves and them. Instead, notice how you feel about other people’s assets or foibles, and what needs come up for you. Read on for more.

Trainer tip: When you tell yourself that you have to do something, you're more likely to disconnect yourself from the needs you’re trying to meet, and also diminish the joy in your life. Instead, experiment with translating your “shoulds” and “have tos” into the need you are trying to meet.