
Search Results: helping
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Jim and Jori offer a tip to stay present in the face of our reactivity to witnessed conflict.
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Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?
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You've probably witnessed and participated in role plays that were powerful tools for inspiration, integration, or healing. You've likely also been in contexts where role plays fell flat, leaving people frustrated, confused, or disengaged. If you're sharing NVC with others – or are envisioning yourself going there in the future – you'll want to take this class, where the focus is on how to increase the chances of having role plays that serve a clear purpose, engage an entire group, and support the deepest learning possible for all.
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You've probably witnessed and participated in role plays that were powerful tools for inspiration, integration, or healing. You've likely also been in contexts where role plays fell flat, leaving people frustrated, confused, or disengaged. If you're sharing NVC with others – or are envisioning yourself going there in the future – you'll want to take this class, where the focus is on how to increase the chances of having role plays that serve a clear purpose, engage an entire group, and support the deepest learning possible for all.
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Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for more ideas for how to handle the pain.
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Welcome to June. It’s the beginning of summer in my area of the world and I usually find myself moving at a slower pace; spending more time outdoors and with friends, more time reading and gardening. I really enjoy the beginning of summer especially because the sun brings just enough heat to feel good, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.
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Mary illustrates how we can get diverted from our group's purpose by the needs of a single indvidual in the group, especially requests for prolonged empathy. Listen to Mary reframe these scenarios and offer three helpful tips for handling these situations.
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Mary continues her discussion of tracking skills, focusing on tracking requests, agreements with the group and tracking time. Mary also examines how to monitor the purpose of the session, discerning if and when to shift the agreement about the purpose for meeting. Mary closes with some final helpful tips to hone your tracking skills.
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Listen to Mary tackle one of the greatest challenges of facilitating an NVC group: How do you deal with hecklers and people you don't like? Mary offers insightful tips and helpful guidance.
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When someone doesn't want to talk some options include releasing your attachment to the strategy you want, asking about and affirming with empathy their reasons for not talking, looking for what support could be helpful to shift to more openness, letting go, and grieving. Read on for more on this, including possible reasons for why they might not want to engage on it.
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This audio training with expert trainer Rita Herzog explores the NVC alternative to family relationships: stay grounded in your own needs and values so you are able to reach out with empathy to family members.
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In June, 1996, I had an epiphany. In a motel room in Indiana, the night before returning home from a solo camping trip in Michigan and Canada, I discovered how much I had lost in my life because of so fiercely protecting myself. Up until that day, bringing forth my vulnerable self was to be avoided at all costs, which kept me numb much of the time, disconnected from myself and from much of life. Alone in my room, I cried, I talked out loud, and I finally exclaimed to myself that I wanted to reclaim every last bit of my vulnerability, just like I had it as a child.
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That is my mantra this year. It came to me when I was headed somewhere to do something that I had wanted to do, and yet I was feeling annoyed about it because traffic was heavy and overwhelming. I then gave myself a few moments of self-empathy where I connected to the deeper needs that were propelling me to do the thing in the first place. In an instant, my annoyance and looming resentment slipped away and I felt happy and relaxed.
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Recently, I have been pondering anger, how I express it and the jackal story I tell myself about it. Marshall Rosenberg taught that anger is a natural emotion that is based on a judgment of someone else or myself. I agree with this, so I have been doing some “enemy images” and self-empathy work (and praying for those who are most likely to be the recipients of my anger). My goal was to clear my judgments and take responsibility for my “stuff.” It has helped a lot, and yet I still feel a general anger in me that is not directly related to anyone or any specific situation.
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The season is changing. What have you done to nurture yourself these past several months? It has been summer in my part of the world and moving into fall.
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Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.
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Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.
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Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.
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Self-compassion is essential for healing trauma and restoring your wholeness. It is also an antidote to reactivity and separation, allowing presence to emerge.
In developing presence, you can become what the world needs most in these times of intensity and chaos. This work can strengthen your skills to be more fully in relationship with all that life offers while allowing your heart to be moved by what is alive in you and with others
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Living Compassion in an Ever-Changing World is the last course that Robert Gonzales offered before his passing in November of 2021. It is an intermediate course whose purpose is to deepen our conscious connection to our own vital life force, to develop skills that support inner healing, and to grow and strengthen daily practices that allow us to truly live life to the fullest.