Here are five practical ideas from Ceri, Jo, and Sarah for creating simple agreements with any group you are working with when conflict arises!

“The Embodied Spirituality of Nonviolent Communication” is an introduction to NVC created from recordings of trainings Robert Gonzales offered in Hawaii in 2007 on the islands of Maui and Kauai. This collection is a celebration of Robert's life and one way we can honor his outstanding work. The original product was a set of DVDs. NVC Academy has converted the original 3 DVD set into 5 mp4...

When deciding if someone crossed your boundaries and how to respond, you may get conflicting opinions on it. These opinions can be coarse attempts to manage life with rules about what should(n’t) happen. Instead, so that you can find where you want to invest your energy, ask yourself questions that reveal what for you is truly in integrity, nourishing, connects to your heart, and deepens self...

Trainer Tip: Censoring oneself to maintain peace may seem easier, but it actually requires significant energy. You can free up that energy you use to deny and stuff down your feelings, needs, desires, truth, and figure out and adjust to what others want. Embracing authenticity and expressing true feelings and needs can lead to a liberating experience, unlocking joy, love, and endless...

We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.

Trainer Tip: On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your emotional bank account? If it’s lower than you like, consider what you can do right now to bring it closer to balance. Everyone in your life, and most especially you, will benefit from this. Even 15 mins of empathy may nourish you with accompaniment and perspective, even when the issues or circumstances in your life are the same.

Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.

You've probably witnessed and participated in role plays that were powerful tools for inspiration, integration, or healing. You've likely also been in contexts where role plays fell flat, leaving people frustrated, confused, or disengaged. If you're sharing NVC with others – or are envisioning yourself going there in the future – you'll want to take this class, where the focus is on how to...

This telecourse recording is for anyone wanting to integrate empathy into his/her life in a more natural, authentic way.

Trainer tip: If you have a goal, want to be a "success", or want to do "your best', define what that would look like, and how much. Identify one goal and one thing you can do today to achieve that goal and do it.

Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Trainer Tip: Practicing NVC in situations that are not emotionally charged can give you valuable practice to help you maintain a compassionate consciousness when circumstances are charged. It can help you stay in that consciousness for a longer period of time. You can also practice by naming the needs that you got met in the situations you enjoy.

Trainer Tip: Strive for win-win resolutions where no one loses. Try this rather than deciding things by the majority or compromise, where one or more parties feel dissatisfied with the resolution because it involves an element of giving in. An alternative is shifting; both people connect to the needs they are trying to meet, and in doing so, one person makes an honest shift to contribute to the...

Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.

Trainer Tip: People sometimes say, “I didn’t do NVC this week.” Or “I tried NVC when I was in an argument last week.” NVC (AKA. Compassionate Communication) is not a thing to pull out of a bag of tricks once in a while. It is a way of living -- even as we may slip up, our goal is to more often handle situations with a consciousness of valuing connection and everyone’s needs more than being...

Trainer Tip: It can be painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For example, we may try not to be passionate in our expression because if we think its “too much” for people. This can lead to trying to figuratively to squeeze ourselves into small spaces in life. Alternatively, we can choose who to share our passion with, and speak our truth to. Today, notice what you need and...

There are many polarizing issues we can resist and fight over. The word "resistance" can mean fighting against what we don’t agree with in counterproductive ways. It can also be the illusion and futility of mentally fighting against reality of 'what is'. But acceptance, non-resistance, of what is doesn’t mean powerless resignation. Another way to resist is to accept and love whole-heartedly,...

It's tempting to shut down a heated conversation when it’s painful and overwhelming. What can give us strength to stay open to hearing and being moved, to being open to new possibility, is recalling the “triad of conversation.” The triad is self and other and then awareness on the third side of the conversation. Here we can return to connection, to what we share and need in common, to a...

We can see anger as an alarm or signal that can inform us that unmet needs require attention, or that we hold judgements. We can shift our own anger in several healthy ways: get present, identify the stimulus and any judgements or unmet needs, look for ways to meet our needs, make requests that support our needs, express our needs to ourselves and appropriate others, and more.

NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.