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  1. The Presence Of Hearing Someone Deeply

    The Presence Of Hearing Someone Deeply

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/16/2023

    Trainer Tip: Empathy is a process in which we acknowledge and understand others' experience without judging or bringing up our own life experience. It can defuse a violent situation and anger in seconds, plus provide a clarity that catapults someone to a deeper level of understanding. The process is simple; listen for their feelings and needs. It can be healing for them to be deeply understood.

  2. Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".

  3. Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 4 minutes · 01/01/2024

    Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all needs?” or, “What can I contribute now?”

  4. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

    Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/1/2024

    Trainer Tip: Research shows long-term change comes when people have intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while we're observed (eg. driving the speed limit when police are there). Notice where you're mostly intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. How does this feel? For instance, do you call mom because you want to connect with her? Or because you’re worried she’ll be hurt if you don’t?

  5. Serenity is a Choice

    Serenity is a Choice

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/15/2023

    Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet at work.

  6. Addressing Inequalities in Groups Using NVC

    Addressing Inequalities in Groups Using NVC

    Roxy Manning

    Trainer Tips · 5 - 7 minutes · 03/01/2024

    In a workshop, a hesitant white neurodivergent man faced a triggering reaction from a Global Majority transgender man. Uncovering their backgrounds, the facilitator addressed family dynamics and exclusion. A repair exercise fostered empathy, challenging assumptions and emphasizing the importance of equitable facilitation for a richer group experience.

  7. Healing, Inside and Out

    Healing, Inside and Out

    Roxy Manning

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    Hello friends. I’m Roxy Manning. When Mary invited me to write this letter, I could not help but reflect on what has been most alive for me recently… the way many of us will easily help someone else, but fear to ask for help for ourselves. On December 4, I had an operation. My doctor predicted my recovery would take three weeks. As I prepared for the time off, I rushed to complete all of my work and personal commitments. I prepped and froze dishes so I would have things to eat after and arranged meal deliveries. Very few people knew I was having an operation and I reached out to only one person for support after. In hindsight, I was doing everything I could so...

  8. In times of conflict, it’s easy to lose touch with ourselves and our needs. In this heartfelt session, Jesse Wiens Chu shares three practical centering practices—rooted in the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)—to help you find your way back to self-connection, empathy, and choice.
  9. Jim Manske Remembrance & Memorial Session

    Jim Manske Remembrance & Memorial Session

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Video · 1 hour 29 minutes · 06/05/2025

    This heartfelt memorial session honors the life and legacy of beloved CNVC trainer Jim Manske (1955–2024). Led by his wife Jori Manske and close friend River Dunavin, the gathering brought together friends, colleagues, and members of the NVC community to share memories, mourn, and celebrate Jim’s enduring impact. Jim passed away peacefully on December 22, surrounded by family and love.
    • Learn how every decision we make perpetuates the status quo or brings us closer to the vision of a world that works for all
    • Find out about our big brain capacity to integrate needs, impacts, and resources to make decisions that work for everyone
    • Understand why power differences interfere with collaborative decisions and what can be done about it
    • Discover tools that support collaboration in larger groups and organizations— even across power differences!
  10. NVC Practices in Organizations

    NVC Practices in Organizations

    Jeff Brown

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    I’m Jeff Brown, Executive Director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication. Mary asked me to be a guest writer for this newsletter, and it’s allowed me to look deeply at the role NVC plays in my life, personally and professionally— especially in running a successful NVC organization. 

    As the director of an NGO, I am grateful to have learned Nonviolent Communication. I utilize the principles constantly, and I’m not sure how I would survive without them.

  11. Explore the core teachings and principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to foster collaboration, mutual support, and to connect across differences. NVC emphasizes connecting through universal needs, honest expression, and compassionate listening—creating space for understanding, and meaningful human connection.

  12. The Power of Being Heard

    The Power of Being Heard

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/27/2019

    Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

  13. Needs-Based Negotiation

    Needs-Based Negotiation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/29/2019

    Trainer Tip: When we create situations that value one person’s needs at the expense of another, we open the door for someone to lose. Instead, look to see if you can speak openly and honestly, value the other person’s needs, and create solutions that value all stakeholder needs.

  14. Appreciation vs. Approval, Compliments or Praise

    Appreciation vs. Approval, Compliments or Praise

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/17/2019

    Trainer Tip: When we acknowledge our met needs, rather than labeling the other person as good or bad, we achieve a clarity of mind that deepens our connection to ourselves and other people.

  15. What is Nonviolent Communication?

    What is Nonviolent Communication?

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/26/2020

    Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

  16. How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 4 minutes · 10/18/2019

    Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.

  17. Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

    Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 05/10/2022

    When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests.

  18. Empathy Hurdles

    Empathy Hurdles

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 11/01/2012

    I want to hear others through the lens of the meaning their actions have for them rather than through the effect their actions have on me. The very root of empathy resides in this fundamental shift. Whenever someone’s actions are at odds with our own needs, most of us, most of the time, do the latter. In that way, we keep our attention on ourselves rather than on the other person. We cannot be in empathy when we are focused on how things affect us. Miki Kashtan poignantly shares about the challenges of empathizing with another when we really don't understand their actions.

  19. Committing to Full Understanding

    Committing to Full Understanding

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/19/2014

    Trainer Tip: There's one sure way to find hidden assumptions, stop and check it out!

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