Search the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: In a Compassionate Communication process, we believe there are enough resources in the Universe to meet all of our needs. Most people are stumped because they can only see one strategy for meeting a need. Identify one need that you would like to experience more of and make a list of at least five strategies for meeting it today.

The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.

Trainer Tip: In our effort to be heard, we often forget to listen. In fact, your need to be heard will not be met completely until you have heard how what you said affects the other person. If we want to ensure that we're heard we can ask the other person to reflect what they heard us say. And we can hear what's going on with them. It is important to remember that a dialogue is not complete until both people have been heard.

Ask the Trainer: Understanding your needs behind using protective force with children.

Trainer Tip: Mindfulness, focusing on what's happening now, is the foundation of Compassionate Communication. The more present we are, the greater the chance we will be aware of our needs and meet them, thus the greater opportunity for joy. Connect to your feelings and needs at least four times today. Notice how differently you conduct your day when you are mindful.

Trainer Tip: Love can be both a feeling and a need in Nonviolent Communication. It can be seen as a need if we do something to meet our need for love. We can also experience love as a feeling, just as warmth, affection, and excitement are feelings. Often, but not always, we can feel love and meet our need for love at the same time.

Discussion into the difficult topic of parenting, childhood trauma, and social status.

How the "story" we tell ourselves impacts our childhood and the roles we play.

Building community well-being through bonds, bridges, and restorative relationships.

Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?

When Dian works with managers, they often ask how they can manage others more effectively. She almost always asks them: how are you managing yourself?

This question applies to all aspects of life, both at work and at home. How are you: 1) gaining clarity around your needs; 2) managing your internal reactions; and 3) clarifying your requests before you open your mouth (or judge) others? This is why self-empathy – which Dian calls “self-management,” now a buzzword in business – is central to the practice of Nonviolent Communication.

Yet self-empathy is not always easy, especially if events in your life stimulate old, “fossilized” needs. These “fossilized” needs are often precognitive and connected to trauma, and as a result, “live” in your muscle memory. In order to fully release this “stuck” energy, it is necessary to engage your felt-sense while learning to empathize with your body and deeply connect with your younger parts.

Dian calls this process Somatic Self-Empathy (SEE).

• Focus on living from the inside out
• Bring a field of inner kindness to your inner distress
• Attend to your inner experience with compassion
• Cultivate an inner spaciousness of freedom

The human needs that we all share are the foundation of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process because it is in connecting to needs that we find inner freedom, empowerment and compassion.

Learn the two core aspects of NVC: consciousness and tools to express it.

In this stimulating audio recording, Stephanie Mattei covers several "hot" parenting topics such as: boundary issues, strategy resilience, how to shift your right/wrong mentality and understanding the concept of fairness. While unraveling these topics, Stephanie intersperses some practical neuroscience around brain regulation and brain-wise conflict prevention.

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Mary Mackenzie to learn a few of her tried-and-true simple Self-Empathy techniques, especially focused on the challenges of the holiday season.

This holiday, shift your focus from what disappoints you to the true whisperings of your heart. Compassion is an inside-outside process. In this telecourse recording, you will experience four simple tools for savoring your own precious needs, allowing you to experience greater compassion and harmony this holiday.

If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone.

In this brief audio segment, Miki works with a woman whose teenage daughter rejects her use of NVC, guiding her in a process of self-awareness and acceptance.