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  1. In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between revealing ourselves and projection.

  2. In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between freedom and submission / rebellion.

  3. The Highest Leverage For Effective Meetings

    The Highest Leverage For Effective Meetings

    Alan Rafael Seid

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2022

    The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.

  4. Self Empathy

    Self Empathy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/24/2023

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes our actions keep us from meeting our needs. Let’s say you long for connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you, resulting in depression and self-criticism. Self-empathy can help clarify what we truly want rather than focusing on what is wrong with others or ourselves, and help us align in ways more likely to meet our needs.

  5. Listening as an Essential Leadership Skill

    Listening as an Essential Leadership Skill

    Lorraine Aguilar

    Video · 7 min 40 sec · 02/05/2025

    Lorraine Aguilar perceives NVC-based listening to be an essential skill to cultivate for success in the business world. A key exercise for building your listening muscle is to work with your judgments of others by translating those judgments from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What's important to me?”

  6. Your Inner Leader

    Your Inner Leader

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 3/4/2019

    When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed due to various life experiences. Without empathy and acknowledgment, our inner parts tend to work against us. That's when we're called upon to build and develop our inner leadership...

  7. The Illusion of Conflicting Needs

    The Illusion of Conflicting Needs

    Robert Gonzales

    Practice Exercises · 30 minutes · 9/8/2019

    This exercise will help you resolve situations in which you have two needs which seem to be in conflict with each other, transforming inner conflict into peace.

  8. Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

    Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 4/3/2021

    When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without getting caught in defensiveness or reactivity.

  9. Practices For Requesting

    Practices For Requesting

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/15/2022

    Practice making requests for feedback, clarity, and action. Opportunities for making requests might be when you expected something different from what you got, were treated undesirably, and noticed inner constriction or reactivity. Identify observations, feelings, and values to support finding the request. Ensure your request states what you want, is specific, names the present-tense action, and that you're open to feedback.

  10. Create The Level Of Connection You Want

    Create The Level Of Connection You Want

    3 Types Of Boundaries

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 12/2/2022

    One way of simplifying decision-making in relationships is clarity about the level of contact and connection you want with the people you interact with. This means knowing what you want and don’t want to share, the kinds of activities you do and don’t do together, how often, etc. This can help you chose how to best support your needs in that context, and help you to remember to set life-serving boundaries when you need them.

  11. Five Communication Guidelines For Change Agents

    Five Communication Guidelines For Change Agents

    Alan Rafael Seid

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 06/07/2023

    When speaking to decision makers about social change issues it helps to communicate with compassion, clarity, curiosity, calm, and respect while seeking to understand their needs. This way there’s a better chance for more trust and connection that’s crucial for a win-win strategy to come about. This may take several conversations.

  12. How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

    How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Practice Exercises · 6 - 9 minutes · 1/15/2024

    While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence.

  13. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  14. Being Honest About Our Anger

    Being Honest About Our Anger

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/23/2014

    Trainer Tip: Mary shares how staying present to our anger and finding the underlying feelings and needs can lead to deeper connection and more satisfying outcomes.

  15. During this very moving session, you'll dive into Robert's exercises for supporting connection to your true self as opposed to your conditioned self.

  16. Making Requests Count

    Making Requests Count

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/16/2022

    Trainer Tip: A request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like from someone else to meet our need. Without this clarity, our communication can be confusing and can easily be seen as a demand. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear, specific, doable requests of people, and see if this increases the chance of meeting your needs. Read on for an example.

  17. Before you write

    Melissa .

    Author Support · ·

  18. Connect Before Correct

    Connect Before Correct

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2-3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "Recently, I was sitting in my weekly practice group trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a particular person. She was telling us about some painful feeling she was having, but was not connecting to her needs."
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