NVC Library Search:
blame
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Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."
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Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"
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Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"
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Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction.
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Learn to recognize four forms of thinking and speaking that are likely to lead to disconnection.
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Bridging the Gap
Practical Support for Parents of Grown Sons and Daughters (4 Session Course)
Learn tools to help you reconnect and repair your relationship with your adult children. Whether the issues are estrangement, lack of trust, conflict, dependence, miscommunication or any other challenge that impacts you with your grown sons and daughters, your heart will find comfort and ease through this course.
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Peace Is Possible
(4 Session Course)
Listen to this 4-session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer, Hema Pokharna, PhD and her sister, Manda Pokharna, MD, and you will learn simple steps for transforming conflicts and mobilizing peace at home, at work and in the world.
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Trainer Tip: Notice where you're judging or blaming people for not meeting your needs. Strive instead to notice and name the related feelings and needs longing to be met. Ask a question to check with the other person about what they want and need. This can open up the conversation towards mutually beneficial solutions.
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Trainer Tip: It's important to design requests to fit specific needs. Otherwise people may do exactly what you ask and still, your needs may not get met. Before you make a request of someone, notice if the strategy you are considering is likely to meet your needs. If not, consider making a different request that may be more satisfying to you.
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So many of us have a habitual response of trying to eliminate uncertainty and the arrival of what we don't want. Alternatively, we can embrace the irreducible uncertainty of life. This shift from resistance and helplessness to mourning allows acceptance of outcomes, reduction of stress, and opens the door to noticing and appreciating what's present and available amidst challenges.
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In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.
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Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our hearts to ourselves and others while we make requests.
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Sitting With Not Knowing
Embracing the Heart of Nonviolent Communication
Sitting with not knowing is an NVC skill because its the opposite of reactivity. In our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of wonder, possibility, and creativity.
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So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for our mutual benefit.
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Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication.
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In this prerecorded telecourse, Raj Gil uses an interactive dialogue and proven exercises to help you develop a profoundly healthy response to anger, right in the moment.
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Miki speaks to peace activists about connecting with the life vision in those who stimulate pain in them.
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In this potent audio, expert trainer Miki Kashtan demonstrates the eye-opening experience of translating judgments into needs. She works with a mother who is stuck in a loop of feeling judged by family members and judging them back.
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In this video download, expert parent trainer and author of Parenting From Your Heart, Inbal Kashtan responds to the age-old question: "Why do children do things to annoy parents?"
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Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate. The antidotes: honesty, passion and compassion.