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 Connection requests focus on the quality of connection between people instead of on any particular strategy or solution. While the core motivation for a connection request may be connection with the other person, varied internal states and needs may help guide us toward different types of connection requests. Self-connection and understanding of our motivation in making a connection request can therefore greatly support our capacity for discovering and articulating what specifically we want from the other person that we believe may contribute to connection.

Try this four step exercise for making connection requests to support understanding, and to learn what effect your words had on the listener. In this exercise you'll choose a situation where you have clarity about what outcome will really work for you (your solution request), but where you imagine your desired outcome may not work for the other person, and/or are not sure there is sufficient connection for mutual trust.

Learn when to use the two types of requests in the practice of Nonviolent Communication: Action Requests and Connection Requests. Both are important when working through conflict or difficult situations and for building connection.

Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

How can you ask for feedback without checking your authenticity at the workplace door? CNVC Certified Trainer Jeff Brown explains that connection requests can help by attending to the quality of your relationship before the content of your request.

Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request.

Jori and Jim Manske offer a process they call "The Zero Step," encompassing the characteristics of warmth toward self and other, care for the vitality of both yourself and other(s), wonder/interest, vulnerability and empathy, which leads directly to connection requests and an openness to outcome.

In this telecourse recording, expert trainer Miki Kashtan will help you uncover what prevents you from making requests for everything you want without fear. The class includes daily practices for requests skill building.

Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

Does the thought of asking the following question stop you cold? "Would you tell me what you heard me say?" Mary Mackenzie, CNVC Certified Trainer known for her colloquial method of speaking and teaching NVC, offers a simpler method.

Marshall Rosenberg suggests that there are two requests that are the most transformative to relationships, (1) What’s alive in both of us? and (2) What would make life more wonderful for both of us?  This telecourse recording offers an easy-to-digest overview of how carefully crafted requests inspire joyful relationships.

Trainer Tip: Clarifying our requests can make the difference between frustration and satisfaction, Mary shows you how.

Who does not want to be understood? In Tip #6, Eric shows you how to deepen connection and trust by checking your understanding with the person you are conversing with.

Watch Jim and Jori Manske in this video as they share three key learnings about collaborating effectively.

In most business environments, purpose holds a higher priority than connection. Listen to Miki discuss the strategy of using minimum connection to remain true to the purpose at hand, and how the purpose of empathy may differ in the workplace.

The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?).  This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...

Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity.

When asking for respect it helps to first get clear about your interpretations of other's behavior. You can do this by asking about the other's intentions before believing your thoughts. You can also make a clear request for what specifically you want to see happen instead. Read on for more.

Have you ever used the phrase "it was just a miscommunication."? We're often good at identifying when communication breaks down but not so good at finding out what went wrong and how we can improve. In this NVC Life Hack, we take a look at different types of communication requests and how they play out in a role play.