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NVC Resources on Responsibility

  1. Making Demands

    Making Demands

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/19/2021

    When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

  2. In a "power with" consciousness you're aware of, and responsible for, your needs and values while considering and hearing others needs. Whereas regarding someone with earned authority, you trust her capacity and discernment is based on her experience and expertise. Read on for signs of when you are slipping into power under, power over, or power with, and how that fits with earned authority.

  3. When a relationship has both differentiation and bonding you can express differences and unmet needs, and responsibly do your own thing without it being a threat to the bond with another. You honor each others choices. There's trust rather than a sense of resentful obligation. Needs-based negotiation is easier. See if you tend to emphasize only differentiation or bonding in your relationships. Imagine how to support the opposite.

  4. Transforming Painful Patterns

    Transforming Painful Patterns

    Arnina Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 7 pages · 7/29/2010

    Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

  5. Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 8 - 10 minutesd · 7/29/2010

    NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
  6. Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

    Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

    Eric Bowers

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 1/28/2019

    What's really going on underneath the surface when we bring or encounter blame, judgements, pain -- and thereby the inability to empathize, be present, attuned, or responsive?  Why does this happen even if one or more people in a relationship dynamic is working hard at bringing in an NVC response? This article addresses these and more questions from the perspective of how our brains are affected in our relationships.

  7. Change Is Afoot

    Change Is Afoot

    A New Paradigm For First Responses After Difficult Events

    Sarah Peyton

    Articles · 9 - 14 minutes · 8/21/2020

    One way to understand trauma is it means we got a blow greater than our nervous system can tolerate – then we move into hyperarousal, and then hypoarousal or dissociation. This cycle can continue long after. Here, we're not able to fully process emotional cues, information, our body, and others. It's important we consider re-writing the cultural paradigm of separation so that our trauma doesn't get marginalized.

  8. Confidentiality Agreement

    Confidentiality Agreement

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

  9. Empathy – Not Empathy

    Empathy – Not Empathy

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Learning Tools · 2 - 3 minutes · 6/3/2019

    This handout defines and contrasts "empathy" alongside "responses may meet needs, but are not empathy" (such as advice, correcting, consoling, etc).
  10. Guidelines And Suggestions For Empathy Buddy Calls

    Guidelines And Suggestions For Empathy Buddy Calls

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 4 - 6 minutes · 1/13/2022

    Here are 10 tips for empathy buddy practice. It includes a handout identifying 15 non-empathy responses to step aside from when you practice.

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