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In this telecourse recording, you will learn and practice self-awareness skills to fine tune your attention to met needs; savoring feelings of well-being; expressing these feelings to others; and receiving other people's messages of joy, gratitude, inspiration and more!

Trainer Tip: Mary offers a perspective on how to know if our need for honesty is being met.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the expression of our needs can sound like demands or criticism. This can make it harder for people to want to contribute to us. Today, pay attention to how you express your needs. Find ways to release the emotional charge.

We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your anchor in self-empathy.

In moments where we would like to see change, personal growth or spiritual transformation, rather than immediately acting to make a change, Robert suggests we practice unconditional self-acceptance through a spacious presence to our inner experience. Robert asks us to give our attention and spacious awareness to our own judgments, inner contractions, and other experiences we often regard as undesirable.

When outraged or resigned over polarized issues, pause to ask yourself who may be benefiting from this conflict? What are we not paying attention to that’s even more important? What matters most? Am I being distracted away from something more important? What do I really want? Where can I choose to focus attention and action for the wellbeing of all life on the planet (which is also my wellbeing and the well being of those I love)?

So many of us have a habitual response of trying to eliminate uncertainty and the arrival of what we don't want. Alternatively, we can embrace the irreducible uncertainty of life. This shift from resistance and helplessness to mourning allows acceptance of outcomes, reduction of stress, and opens the door to noticing and appreciating what's present and available amidst challenges.

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.