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Interested in bringing NVC consciousness to your workplace, but want to use a natural and conversational way of speaking? Listen in as Jeff describes three specific skills you can apply immediately: #1: How to express your understanding of a co-worker’s needs; #2: How to apply the three dimensions of needs in a business setting; and #3: How to make a Symbiotic Request that acknowledges holding multiple needs.

Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.

Trainer Tip: Meetings can be unproductive when the participants aren’t clear about their needs or what they want from the group. When participants express opinions without expressing a need or informing the group of what they want, the meeting lacks clarity. Instead, if we can focus on naming our needs and make related requests, we can get closer to resolution much faster and enjoy the process more. Read on for an example.

Trainer Tip: When we create situations that value one person’s needs at the expense of another, we open the door for someone to lose. Instead, look to see if you can speak openly and honestly, value the other person’s needs, and create solutions that value all stakeholder needs.

Want to manage more effectively with more ease and joy and get your staff to make changes? The first, crucial step is to learn how to change your behavior to impact what's happening. For example, we can get the inner clarity we need to reframe questions we ask ourselves, recap, make clear requests, give concrete feedback, etc. This article expands on how self-management can increase influence...

There are five aspects helpful to consider when creating conditions and atmosphere where you can be heard deeply and hear others deeply: context, self-connection, autonomy, security, and specific requests. Read on for more, and reflect on moments when you have been heard deeply and name everything that contributed to that experience.

When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.

In this exercise choose a situation in which you got a “yes” to your request but you are not confident that it was agreed to freely or joyfully. Then explore your response to their “yes”, and possible unexpressed "no", with related observations, judgements, feelings, needs, requests, and alternate strategies that come up.

Sharing more vulnerably provides opportunities for fulfilling connection. As social beings we rely on feedback to see our effect on others. We can get that feedback through body language, facial cues and words. To expand your capacity to share more vulnerably you can create supportive conditions and timing. You can ask for feedback by making in-the-moment requests of others and yourself before and after you share.

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...