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NVC Resources on Requests

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  1. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  2. Foundational NVC Skills

    Foundational NVC Skills

    Requests

    John Kinyon

    Audio · 1 hour, 25 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Marshall Rosenberg suggests that there are two requests that are the most transformative to relationships, (1) What’s alive in both of us? and (2) What would make life more wonderful for both of us?  This telecourse recording offers an easy-to-digest overview of how carefully crafted requests inspire joyful relationships.

  3. NVC LIfe Hacks 11

    NVC LIfe Hacks 11

    Effective Requests

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 4 minutes · 01/25/2019

    Underlying much of our communication is a request: when we say something, we're usually expecting something else — perhaps something subtle — in return. Let's look at how to make requests clearer and more do-able, avoiding the pitfall of demands.

  4. Facilitating Connection

    Facilitating Connection

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Audio · 59 minutes · 25/10/2011

    Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request.

  5. Have you ever used the phrase "it was just a miscommunication."? We're often good at identifying when communication breaks down but not so good at finding out what went wrong and how we can improve. In this NVC Life Hack, we take a look at different types of communication requests and how they play out in a role play.

  6. Specificity Is the Key

    Specificity Is the Key

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/2/2020

    Trainer Tip: If you make a specific and doable request as soon as you notice your needs, you'll have a better possibility of getting them met. It's also more likely your request will support the other person to contribute to your life. Make at least one specific, doable request of someone today as soon as you notice your needs.

  7. Meeting Our Needs

    Meeting Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/11/2019

    Trainer Tip: Discovering the unmet needs is only a starting point. The other part is to understand what it will take to meet that need, and make a request that will accomplish this. This way, we can resolve situations before they escalate. Everyone benefits when we are clear about what we would like.

  8. Not Trusting the “Yes”

    Not Trusting the “Yes”

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 19 minutes · 7/28/2010

    In this audio recording, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don't trust someone's "yes," how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say "no" to our requests.

  9. Street Giraffe Tips

    Street Giraffe Tips

    Mary Mackenzie

    Video · 8 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Does the thought of asking the following question stop you cold? "Would you tell me what you heard me say?" Mary Mackenzie, CNVC Certified Trainer known for her colloquial method of speaking and teaching NVC, offers a simpler method.

  10. Group Feedback

    Group Feedback

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."

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