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NVC Resources on Relationships

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Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic:...
Talking About The Past And Effective Relationship Repair

Relationship repair means building connection and care after disconnect and unmet needs. It requires intention to connect and take responsibility for your behavior by naming what didn’t work, offering empathy, and making a plan to do something differently next time. When you have enough empathy to find care and curiosity for them, reflect the other person's observation, thoughts, feelings,...
Navigating Relationships Between Individuals and Political or Cultural Systems

Please listen as we discuss and grapple with the issues of growing polarization in our world, political structures and personal relationships.
Practice Relationship Repair - Turning Connection into Clear Agreements

When you have found mutual care and connection regarding each other’s feelings and needs, you can begin brainstorming and negotiating requests to help care for needs in a future similar situation. You know you are ready for this step when you experience a sense of mutual care and respect, and have hope regarding a new way forward. Here are some important things to remember about committing to...
I Want to Repair a Relationship, But I am Scared

Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs....
How I Changed My Relationship to Time

What would happen if you considered that time is a concept, and that it doesn't rule your life? What would it mean to make all choices based on needs and not on time? Do you obey the external rhythm of the clock over and above the internal rhythm of your life energy? This is an invitation into more responsibility, awareness, honesty, choice and freedom. Read this article Keywords: learned...
Integrating Our Relationship To Gratitude And Mourning

Integrating a full living involves grief/mourning and gratitude. Here we'll more deeply integrate inner and outer dimensions of gratitude and grief. In any experience there's the outer aspect, an event that occurs in life. And there's the inner response to the outer event. When we judge the outer positively or negatively we're in tension or resistance to our experience. Here we'll explore a...
A Positive Relationship With Reactivity

With practice we can prevent reactivity from overtaking and harming: notice signs of reactivity, bring compassion to it, see reactivity as the misperception of threat and a distortion of what's happening, plus engage and pursue connection and the clarity to weaken reactive impulses. In taking responsibility like this overtime, you can live from your values and from care. And life can get easier...
Changing A One-Way Caretaking Relationship

Notice situations where you're attending to another and giving up on your needs with resentment or a sense of submitting. You can also watch for “should's,” obligation, and black-and-white thinking around the support you offer. Is there a sense that if you don't carry out a particular action something bad will happen? If so, identify the needs at hand and brainstorm a variety of strategies to...
Trauma, Forgiveness & Your Close Relationships

effectiveness of empathy and your own capacity to heal. This is where an understanding of the neurobiology of trauma and resonance is vital to supporting healing and connection in long-term relationships. In this collection of recordings from Sarah Peyton’s 2020 course, you will discover: New paths designed to enable you to move towards integrating – and healing – difficult events How learning...