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  1. From Shame to Vulnerability

    From Shame to Vulnerability

    Liv Larsson

    Downloadable Courses · ·

    • Discover what triggers shame in you, and how to transform it
    • Learn to navigate a shame attack and make good use of it
    • Expand your capacity for recognizing when others are experiencing shame
    • Connect with others who get trapped in shame avoidance patterns
    • Allow your vulnerability to bloom by disentangling shame from fear
  2. Understanding How Shame Hinders Clear Requests

    Understanding How Shame Hinders Clear Requests

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 11/2/2021

    It may be challenging to hear or make requests when you feel shame regarding anyone's feelings and needs. Without support, shame could be debilitating, so you may feel resistant and become defensive, hear threat, or criticize others. Instead, be with people who allow space for vulnerability. Find ways to celebrate, negotiate, be mindful, accepting, and creative.

  3. Dialogues with Our Shame

    Dialogues with Our Shame

    Giorgos Tsitsirigkos

    Video · 45 minutes · 08/29/2019

    During this session, Giorgos will walk you through a series of short, meditative practices and exercises designed to help you practice noticing, experiencing, and bringing shame to light — transforming it from a burden to a playful fellow as well as a portal to self-knowledge and internal freedom. You'll discover how the deep power of human connectedness can dilute the fogginess of sensitive issues, bringing them higher into your consciousness, and enabling the flow of life to pass right through them!

  4. Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

    Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 1/12/2021

    The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with it, as lazy or stubborn. Read on for more.

  5. What will it take to reclaim our fundamental relatedness with all things alive, surrender our attempts to control nature, and find a way of living that averts or mitigates the worst possible catastrophes awaiting us while it's still possible?

  6. How can we hold love, understanding and compassion -- and still confront people about the harmful impact of their actions, hold them accountable, take action, speak truth and advocate for change... all in a manner fully aligned with our values and vision? Read on for how we can do accountability; what kind of action we take and with what motivation; and what our movements for change can look like from this lens.

  7. When was the last time you were in a situation with an overwhelming feeling of shame or an unnerving fear of 'doing it wrong'? Sometimes we get sweaty palms or a dry mouth, maybe we freeze on the spot or start an unhelpful internal monologue that makes the situation feel even worse. In this months NVC Life Hack Gesine takes a closer look at her own experience with shame and the fear of doing it wrong.

  8. Alarm Feelings

    Alarm Feelings

    Anger, Guilt, Shame and Shut Down

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 8/7/2022

    Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs.

  9. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  10. Enriching Life

    Enriching Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/2/2023

    Trainer Tip: If you are motivated by fear, guilt, blame or shame, your actions will usually be motivated by avoiding pain. The best way to experience permanent, lifelong change is to focus on how your life will improve when you make a change. Notice when you attempt to motivate yourself and others with guilt, blame, or shame today, and then look for motivations that enrich life instead.

  11. Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 3/21/2023

    Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to control, shame, or punishment.

  12. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  13. Social Dynamics During the Holidays

    Social Dynamics During the Holidays

    Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/4/2019

    During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.

  14. Finding Worthiness and Belonging

    Finding Worthiness and Belonging

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 4/12/2021

    Worthlessness and shame are linked to the idea of not belonging or being unworthy of belonging -- that is, a deep sense of belonging to life, to your sense of self, and to our earth. Compensatory strategies to win worthiness and belonging arise from here and effectively block the very thing it is pursuing. Transformation occurs when there is a critical mass of clarity about the harm of a particular way of thinking and behaving.

  15. Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

    Catching Hearts

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/17/2017

    When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

  16. I’ve been part of a fitness group here in California for the past 1.5 years. It’s called Boot Camp, and I have no idea why! Anyway, most people in the class are 25-30 years younger than I am and have been part of this group for several years. I don’t lift weights as heavy as theirs and I can’t always keep up with them, but I had felt confident that I was holding my own (except when jogging, which is the one place where I consistently lag far behind them). I found a way to be okay with this, to enjoy working out with them, without thinking I should be as strong or skilled as they are.

  17. Thrive Together

    Thrive Together

    NVC Academy

    Downloadable Courses · ·

    • Celebrate and nurture your relationship to the Earth — and each other! 
    • Explore your connections to family, partner, work, nature, self and more 
    • Discover new ways to grow in community and work together to make this world a better place  
    • Engage and immerse yourself in NVC while making new friends! 
  18. Courage

    Courage

    David Weinstock

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 2/8/2021

    In listening to what our emotions tell us, and embracing what we do not know, we begin the path of courage. Even though our culture tells us not to, revealing our imperfections is where we can deeply connect. Living our lives more courageously honest, can shift us towards inspiring one another. Read on for how some people experienced this in coming together to transform one woman's heroine addiction.

  19. Wanting Fully without Attachment

    Wanting Fully without Attachment

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 1 hour · 3/28/2011

    Do you want to befriend your needs and live without shame about them? Would you like to increase your inner freedom by letting go of attachment to outcome? Join Miki Kashtan to learn skills and practices that will enable you to want fully without attachment.

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