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  1. What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators and attributes of each of these distinctions.

  2. Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Yvette Erasmus

    Video · 6 minutes · 05/23/2023

    The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

  3. Accepting What Is

    Accepting What Is

    Miki Kashtan

    Video · 6 minutes · 06/07/2011

    CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how naturalizing NVC language involves self care and begins with accepting what is true in the moment.

  4. When someone's behavior costs us, we may attempt to negotiate as much as possible. After some rounds of this, if there's no change we may reach a tolerance limit. So we may set a boundary for self care and clarity about what's unworkable. But depending on intentions and the way its said, this may or may not be a punishment to get even. Here, clarity about intentions, feelings, needs, actions and dialogue may support us.

  5. What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships.

  6. Eric offers some tips for nurturing and affirming ourselves as a daily practice.

  7. Self-Empathy

    Self-Empathy

    Healing from the Inside Out (6 Session Course)

    Mary Mackenzie

    Multi-session Course · 5 - 7 hours · 7/27/2019

    Ever wish you knew how you might experience more choice when you've been triggered, instead of being trapped in old habits and unmet needs? Wish you could REALLY heal old internal messages that tell you you're not good enough… not loveable… or not deserving? Join veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Mary Mackenzie, for this 6-session course designed to deepen your ability to connect with self and heal your past through the process of Self-empathy.

  8. Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms can support. Read on for more.

  9. When We Need Empathy the Most

    When We Need Empathy the Most

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/10/2021

    Trainer Tip: On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your emotional bank account? If it’s lower than you like, consider what you can do right now to bring it closer to balance. Everyone in your life, and most especially you, will benefit from this. Even 15 mins of empathy may nourish you with accompaniment and perspective, even when the issues or circumstances in your life are the same.

  10. Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.

  11. Meeting Our Need for Rest

    Meeting Our Need for Rest

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/8/2022

    Trainer Tip: We all have different ways to meet our need for rest. It's important to notice when you need that time. You might know you need rest when you find yourself snapping at people on the phone, when you snap at your cat, or when you ignore your partner. Rather than behave in ways that you might regret, consider doing something that will help you meet your need for rest. Everyone in your life will benefit.

  12. Two Self-Empathy Exercises

    Two Self-Empathy Exercises

    Mary Mackenzie

    Video · 44 minutes · 11/18/2018

    This session is from the NVC Academy's 2017 Telethon. Listen in as Mary offers two experiential self-empathy exercises: I Love It When, and What Do I Want / Why Do I Want It. Deepen your ability to connect with self — novel and effective ways to engage the process of Self-Empathy!

  13. Don't Just Feel Your Emotions

    Don't Just Feel Your Emotions

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 4/26/2019

    To keep our life energy moving and growing we can find the resources to welcome and accompany various parts of ourselves with compassion and love -- as though these parts are very young children.  And even if these parts contain difficult emotions...

  14. NVC Life Hacks 10

    NVC Life Hacks 10

    Winter Blues

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 3 minutes · 10/29/2021

    Quite a few of us find the darker winter months emotionally tricky. If you're one of those sorts of people, here are three NVC-oriented tips to help you through to spring!

  15. Healing a Repetitive Reactive Dynamic

    Healing a Repetitive Reactive Dynamic

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 1/24/2020

    In healing reactivity try identifying your most common complaints, wishes, or requests. Or when you tend to defend, justify, get angry, or protect. Find the tender needs. You can recall when you experienced deep nourishment of that need. Several times a week nourish your tender needs. Be clear about the strategy to address needs by answering key questions. Read on for more.

  16. Trauma and Sanctuary

    Trauma and Sanctuary

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 2/23/2020

    One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

  17. Emotional Regulation Strategies

    Emotional Regulation Strategies

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/11/2020

    Emotional regulation is the consistent capacity to fully experience one’s feelings, particularly when they are intense and/or painful. Here are 36 practices that help with emotional regulation that can be done alone or with others. Read on for more.

  18. Grief and Mourning for the World

    Grief and Mourning for the World

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 1/21/2021

    As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give grief the space and support it needs.

  19. Life Serving Strategies

    Life Serving Strategies

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 8/22/2021

    This sheet lists and describes 13 life serving strategies, such as: Time out, disengage, honesty check, and engaging in a working recovery plan. Read on for more.

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