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Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.

Trainer Tip: Have you heard the saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Communication is like that too. Don’t try to adjust your communication and behaviors if they already work for you.

Welcome to June. It’s the beginning of summer in my area of the world and I usually find myself moving at a slower pace; spending more time outdoors and with friends, more time reading and gardening. I really enjoy the beginning of summer especially because the sun brings just enough heat to feel good, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.

Join CNVC Certified Trainers, Raj Gill and Mary Mackenzie as they explore the Nonviolent Communication process of Empathy.  This audio will support people with a basic understanding of Nonviolent Communication who want to deepen their ability for empathic presence.

Trainer Tip: Instead of trying for perfection, let’s try safe experimentation: Acknowledge that whenever we try a new behavior, it’s bound to take us a few times before we get it right. Read on for how we can do this. We'll use learning empathy as an example.

In a workshop, a hesitant white neurodivergent man faced a triggering reaction from a Global Majority transgender man. Uncovering their backgrounds, the facilitator addressed family dynamics and exclusion. A repair exercise fostered empathy, challenging assumptions and emphasizing the importance of equitable facilitation for a richer group experience.

So many of us have a habitual response of trying to eliminate uncertainty and the arrival of what we don't want. Alternatively, we can embrace the irreducible uncertainty of life. This shift from resistance and helplessness to mourning allows acceptance of outcomes, reduction of stress, and opens the door to noticing and appreciating what's present and available amidst challenges.

Roxy Manning discusses the tendency to get attached to certain parenting strategies for control and emphasizes the importance of attuning to the child's needs rather than imposing fixed ideas of right or wrong. Using a personal example of being labeled a "bad child" for taking off uncomfortable dresses, Roxy highlights the need to observe and understand the child's perspective. She stresses the importance of moving away from rigid ideas about the perfect strategy and instead focusing on what is happening in the moment to better address both the child's and the parent's needs. Roxy encourages flexibility in parenting strategies and urges parents to check in on their motivations for seeking control.

• Make use of felt-sense and somatic awareness to support faster and deeper shifts in yourself and others
• Master silent empathy to give more ease and flow in your empathy guessing
• "Streetify" your NVC practice by learning how to make your NVC practice more fluent, colloquial, and "natural" and match the person you're speaking with
• De-mystify empathy guessing by learning to identify key linguistic queues
• Build an "emergency empathy" tool kit---with "quick fixes" for challenging situations by using each step of the model for maximum effectiveness
• Interplay both the NVC "mindset" (consciousness/intention) and the NVC "tool kit" for greater ease, fluency and effectiveness

Trainer Tip: Mary shares how staying present to our anger and finding the underlying feelings and needs can lead to deeper connection and more satisfying outcomes.

Do you ever think you have the perfect answer for someone who is struggling? Eric offers a tip on how to approach situations like this.

Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we consider love to be a need. Remember that needs are universal; everyone has the same ones. We all need love, but the ways in which we express it can be very different.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where your need for love is not met. Consider ways in which a partner or friend could meet your need for love. Be sure to request something the other person is capable of doing. Whatever the situation, it is our responsibility to clarify how we can meet our need for love, while also considering the abilities of our loved ones to comply with our requests.

Praise may disconnect us from our own confidence, intrinsic motivation, or discernment. It may lead to perfectionism, people pleasing, codependency, a tendency to criticize others or fix others, and more. Instead, without evaluative words we can sincerely share what we specifically liked about what they did, and what needs were met for us.

Codependency occurs when others' behavior affects us in unhealthy ways and we get obsessed with controlling their behavior. For example, we may focus on other's needs while neglect what matters to us, and resent it. Or we may depend on others to rescue us from results of our actions. Or we may fix or rescue others' neglected responsibilities. Or we may make others responsible for our needs. Instead, notice your needs, what you can('t) change, and your priorities.