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Sharing more vulnerably provides opportunities for fulfilling connection. As social beings we rely on feedback to see our effect on others. We can get that feedback through body language, facial cues and words. To expand your capacity to share more vulnerably you can create supportive conditions and timing. You can ask for feedback by making in-the-moment requests of others and yourself before...

With these practices make space before reacting to emotion or external stimulus. This can enable your capacity to respond from your self-connection to universally shared values. With practice you can create the capacity to temporarily put impulsiveness aside, in the service of connection with yourself and others, and in service of more informed and effective strategies.

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Practice Exercise

12 -18 minutes

Blame is opaque when we don’t reflect on it deeply. We blame when we don’t see ourselves as having power to shape things, and see others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection,...

If you want a better connection it's crucial to be mindful about how your communication affects your partner. This means noticing and keeping eye contact, observing body language, and checking for their reactions. You can also share in small increments, check in before sharing vulnerable thoughts, and express what you notice. Give yourself empathy when you notice that you want to be right more...

Have you ever found yourself passing judgment on a co-worker's seemingly disorganized desk? Mary Mackenzie's experience sheds light on the fact that she and her colleague with the "messy desk" shared a common need for order. Recognizing that our needs align can lead to a softening of judgments, creating space for connection, understanding, and harmony.

Duke Duchscherer shares that Restorative Circles have the ability to transform relationships. Groups may start with feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, anger, and even hatred. The dialogue process supports a shift to more ease, connection, and trust.

Join Dian Killian and discover the power of imagery and metaphor in deepening your empathy practice. This segment from her 6 session course explores how visualizing sensations, emotions, and needs through metaphorical language can enhance the connection during empathy guessing, particularly in somatic-based approaches.

Creating a trusting connection and keeping the line of communication open are the primary prerequsites for giving feedback as a supervisor. Listen to Miki work with a course participant to ready herself for an upcoming feedback session.

Join Susan Skye in this hour-long audio recording to learn how to experience the NVC consciousness as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs." This recording includes a supportive learning exercise and tips for expressing needs in a non-mechanical way. "Over the years, I have noticed that people -- including trainers and facilitators -- use the words of the NVC process...

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Trainer Tip

3 - 5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Connecting with self and other is key to care and creativity. Before dialogue connect with your intention and needs for being with grief, fear or pain, and empathy. Dialogue when you're both rested, fed, and have spaciousness. Start by expressing care and desire to find mutually satisfying solutions. To deepen connection you may repeat what you hear and ask the other person to do the same.

We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

Listen to Miki discuss two strategies for bringing NVC into the workplace in ways most likely to be well received. First Miki explains why it's best to focus more on needs than feelings in business environments. Second, she talks about unpacking needs into phrases as a way of enhancing workplace connection.

Miki works with a course participant to transform begrudging attendance at a mandatory meeting into the possibility for collaboration, more connection where little is expected and focus on clarity of purpose for meeting in the first place.

In this audio recording, Sylvia Haskvitz, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, offers an in-depth discussion of the Nonviolent Communication process of empathy.

According to this article, what we do before we move into the NVC dance profoundly influences the outcome and everyone involved. This "before" step increases the likelihood of living compassionately, and our support openness to outcome. It can also make our NVC practice less connecting, and more evaluative. The article addresses these points and talks about ways to move beyond the dead past,...

How can you remember to use the skills and consciousness of NVC in the heat of the moment? Jim and Jori Manske will show you how in these recordings from their 2018 course! They teach that when and how you address the conflicts that emerge in your everyday life matters! By slowing down and considering the state of your resources before engaging in a conflict, you increase the likelihood of...

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Liv Larsson and Miki Kashtan

Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"

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John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan

Trainer Tip

3-5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

Ask the Trainer: "Can you share stories of transforming group conflict, or is NVC strictly intended for 'one-on-one' work?"