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  1. Intention and Effect

    Intention and Effect

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 12 - 18 minutes · 8/9/2020

    When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

  2. We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

  3. How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 4 minutes · 10/18/2019

    Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.

  4. How To Create Supportive Conditions For Sharing Vulnerably

    How To Create Supportive Conditions For Sharing Vulnerably

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 7 minutes · 3/17/2022

    Sharing more vulnerably provides opportunities for fulfilling connection. As social beings we rely on feedback to see our effect on others. We can get that feedback through body language, facial cues and words. To expand your capacity to share more vulnerably you can create supportive conditions and timing. You can ask for feedback by making in-the-moment requests of others and yourself before and after you share.

  5. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  6. Avoiding “Right Fights”

    Avoiding “Right Fights”

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/5/2014

    Trainer Tip: Ready to start a fight because you're right? Consider another strategy.

  7. Empathic Connection and Politics

    Empathic Connection and Politics

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/27/2022

    How do we talk to ourselves and with others about polarizing topics in a way that's supportive? Seek to understand and be understood rather than press for agreement. Bring mindfulness into the conversation. Slow down and use structure to support everyone. Release knowing the solutions, answers or outcomes. Keep focus on shared universal needs. From this place we can say what's in our hearts and minds, and trust the process.

  8. Myths Of Power With

    Myths Of Power With

    Everyone Can Be Included

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 12 minutes · 7/13/2023

    Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.

  9. One thing that makes empathic understanding difficult yet valuable is that it can be humbling. If I really open myself to hearing and understanding, while trusting my inner strength of self-knowing, I may be changed by what I hear. My core beliefs or understanding might change and grow. This openness could be key to transforming the energy of conflict into new possibilities for greater connection, creativity, and well-being.

  10. Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

    Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 10/10/2023

    "Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.

  11. Using Images in Your Empathy Guessing

    Using Images in Your Empathy Guessing

    Dian Killian

    Video · 4 minutes · 10/10/2024

    Join Dian Killian and discover the power of imagery and metaphor in deepening your empathy practice. This segment from her 6 session course explores how visualizing sensations, emotions, and needs through metaphorical language can enhance the connection during empathy guessing, particularly in somatic-based approaches.
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