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  1. Receiving Appreciation With Grace

    Receiving Appreciation With Grace

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/16/2019

    Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.

  2. Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/24/2021

    Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.

  3. Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

  4. Expressing Appreciation

    Expressing Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/17/2020

    Trainer tip: When you want to thank someone expressing what that person did, how you felt about and what needs were met for you, can provide the other person with more information. It can also help her more fully understand how she contributed to you, and deepen your connection with her.

  5. Unappreciated is NOT a Feeling

    Unappreciated is NOT a Feeling

    Rachelle Lamb

    Video · 2 minutes · 03/26/2017

    Unappreciated, Judged, Disrespected, Offended, Manipulated ... people use these words to describe feelings but these are all words that describe interpretations instead. They're also words that get people's backs up. Talk about unproductive! The solution? Develop a vocabulary of feelings so you can minimize defensiveness in others and facilitate connection.

  6. Receiving Appreciation

    Receiving Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/20/2020

    Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.

  7. CNVC trainer Yoram Mosenzon shares how expressing specific and authentic appreciation can deepen connection in intimate relationships. He emphasizes the importance of making clear observations without judgment and connecting with the feelings and needs that arise from meaningful gestures.
  8. Appreciation vs. Approval, Compliments or Praise

    Appreciation vs. Approval, Compliments or Praise

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/17/2019

    Trainer Tip: When we acknowledge our met needs, rather than labeling the other person as good or bad, we achieve a clarity of mind that deepens our connection to ourselves and other people.

  9. A Hunger For Appreciation

    A Hunger For Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/9/2023

    Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best employees?”). This may reveal more to both of you.

  10. When Someone Doesn’t Appreciate Our Honesty

    When Someone Doesn’t Appreciate Our Honesty

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/2/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we withhold our truth or lie, we can create emotional and physical distance in our relationships. By being honest, we can strengthen relationships. And when someone doesn’t appreciate your honesty, try empathizing with them. It can help to notice how your actions stimulate feelings in other people -- even as they are not the cause of their feelings.

  11. Iris Bawidamann explains how needs, like appreciation, can easily turn into demands or self-blame when approached from a place of lack or expectation. This practice is based on the work of Living Compassion, shared by Robert Gonzales, focusing on the beauty of needs and the living energy of needs
  12. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  13. Saying Thank You without Judgment

    Saying Thank You without Judgment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/24/2021

    Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what feelings it stimulated.

  14. The Sweetest Game in Town

    The Sweetest Game in Town

    Contributing Without Praise

    Inbal Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Inbal answers a parent's question about praise and offers a perspective on how praise translates into the NVC framework.

  15. Experiencing Gratitude

    Experiencing Gratitude

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2015

    Trainer Tip: Do you ever think you’re taking life just a little too seriously? Many of us work hard trying to improve our outlook, our ability to communicate, and our lives. Sometimes we work so hard, we forget to enjoy life. So let’s make a pact to enjoy our day.

  16. Being Yourself And Asking For What You Want

    Being Yourself And Asking For What You Want

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 9/30/2021

    Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a heart connection with others.

  17. Mourning and Celebration

    Mourning and Celebration

    Two Sides of Gratitude

    David Weinstock

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/14/2018

    Mourning, grief and celebration is a way to connect with what we love and want to honor.  In this trainer tip we learn that these three things can become a way for us to understand our emotions regarding our losses and appreciations.

  18. Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".

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