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  1. When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

  2. Working with Subtle Boundary Violations

    Working with Subtle Boundary Violations

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 11/7/2020

    Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on to learn more about all three.

  3. Does your inner dialog sound supportive and encouraging - or more like you’re being yelled at by a critical task-master?  Gain an understanding of the neuroscience of the left and right hemispheres of the human brain and locate just where this savage inner voice is coming from and how to respond to it with empathy.

  4. Knowing Ourselves

    Knowing Ourselves

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/6/2014

    Trainer Tip: The question is not what other people think of you, but what you think of yourself. Who are you, really? Take a moment to consider what you value.

  5. Getting Your Needs Met

    Getting Your Needs Met

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/6/2021

    We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.

  6. One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Rafael Seid's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

  7. Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

    Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/4/2020

    Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

  8. Speaking Up Is an Expression of Love

    Speaking Up Is an Expression of Love

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/29/2015

    Trainer Tip: Q: How do we get the love we want? A: Ask for it.

  9. Tips for the Road Series Tip 10

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 10

    Take It to the Trees

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/3/2017

    One of the most important things you can do to live a meaningful and rewarding life filled with vitality is reclaim your emotions. Eric offers a tip to reclaim your emotions, rescuing you from the numb and deadening state of “fine."

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