Search the NVC Library

Ask the Trainer: "I recently attended an NVC workshop where the focus was entirely upon empathy, and expressing honestly was not covered. Aren't empathy and honesty both vital NVC components?"

Ask the Trainer: "Could you explore why people 'talk too much' and how I could connect with them and myself empathically when I'm also talking too much?"

Ask the Trainer: An NVC Academy member from Bosnia asks: "Is the NVC process truly effective in places where so much violence has occurred and people's pain is very deep?"

Ask the Trainer: Can you help me connect with my needs behind the protective use of force I use with my children?

Ask the Trainer: I feel overwhelmed thinking of writing to someone with cancer. What can I do?

Ask the Trainer: Can all needs be met when illness limits the capacity of one person to meet the needs of her partner?

Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?

Ask the Trainer: Is there any difference between the concept or experience of "love" and that of "empathy?"

Trainer Tip: Tap into feelings, needs and requests for greater self connection with the six steps in this worksheet.

Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"

Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”

Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

Instead of wondering, invest time today to ask at least one friend your friendship enhances her life. Such clarification can deepen the connection.