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  1. Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response isn't what you want. Read on for more.

  2. Roxy Manning delves into the concept of psychological safety, drawing from Amy Edmondson's definition as the shared belief among team members that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. Roxy discusses the common misconception of safety within teams, where the absence of open discussions is mistaken for safety, creating an illusion of negative peace. Negative peace involves avoiding discomfort and maintaining comfort for those with structural or social power, often at the expense of others silently suffering. Roxy emphasizes the importance of differentiating between discomfort and true psychological safety, where teams can openly address challenging issues, even if it means temporary discomfort. She encourages naming and understanding these dynamics to foster a psychologically safe and inclusive team environment.

  3. CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan tells us to look to our inner dialogue and the other's needs when we're feeling fear of physical violence that's been stimlated by someone's anger.

  4. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  5. Nonviolence In The Face of Rape or Assault

    Nonviolence In The Face of Rape or Assault

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/19/2020

    Here's a brief anecdote showing how one woman was able transform a situation, where a man was about to assault or rape her. She responded in a creative way that lead them both to see each others' humanity -- navigating them both to safety. As part of her ingenuity he ended up spending the night in her house, in another room.

  6. What will it take to reclaim our fundamental relatedness with all things alive, surrender our attempts to control nature, and find a way of living that averts or mitigates the worst possible catastrophes awaiting us while it's still possible?

  7. Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

    Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

    Eric Bowers

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 1/28/2019

    What's really going on underneath the surface when we bring or encounter blame, judgements, pain -- and thereby the inability to empathize, be present, attuned, or responsive?  Why does this happen even if one or more people in a relationship dynamic is working hard at bringing in an NVC response? This article addresses these and more questions from the perspective of how our brains are affected in our relationships.

  8. Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

    Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 37 - 56 minutes · 11/28/2020

    What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the most love possible, aiming at (re)creating conditions for dialogue; that we make the choice using as much nonreactive discernment as possible, with as much support for the choice as possible, and while mourning not seeing another way to respond to a situation in which vital needs are at stake except to use force". Read on for more.

  9. Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.

  10. Valuing My Needs When I Habitually Don't

    Valuing My Needs When I Habitually Don't

    John Kinyon

    Audio · 9 minutes · 2/16/2014

    Listen to John answer an NVC Library member's question about what we can do when we habitually place other's needs ahead our own. Healing and change can be reached through compassionate self-connection, needs awareness, mourning and mindfulness.

  11. What do you do when you are thinking that it's not "emotionally safe" to speak honestly?  Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this topic with a workshop participant.

  12. NVC Life Hacks 5

    NVC Life Hacks 5

    Conflict

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 3 minutes · 07/18/2018

    Conflict occurs when disagreements undermine the sense of trust and safety in family, workplace, or community. Shantigarbha shares nine tips for addressing, and even transforming conflict.

  13. Trauma and Sanctuary

    Trauma and Sanctuary

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 2/23/2020

    One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

  14. Finding Security in the Face of Fear

    Finding Security in the Face of Fear

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 6/1/2020

    In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for more.

  15. How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

    How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 7/29/2021

    Past hurt and pain can get triggered even when it doesn't have much to do with the present. When that happens we can gain perspective by self reflecting, engaging self empathy, grounding an "anchor", noticing the present-moment safety, naming needs and making requests.

  16. When people get hurt or harmed, how can we restore trust, safety and connection in the community? A restorative approach which focuses on who got hurt and how can we restore it? Rather than whose fault is it and how can we punish them?

  17. Help For The Cycle Of Overwhelm And Withdrawal

    Help For The Cycle Of Overwhelm And Withdrawal

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 4/4/2022

    If withdrawal is your stress pattern, you likely want to belong and yet have habits of expression that others find uninviting. Instead, soften, relax, and open your posture and energy. Find something that will bring you to smile. Engage with others -- make eye contact, smile, walk towards others, say hello, and sit in an open posture. Let others know that you're a bit overwhelmed, but want to connect and are glad to be here.

  18. Research shows that couples with a secure bond experience arguments that are shorter, lower in intensity, and easier to recover from. Building and keeping a secure bond with your partner requires mindfulness and consistency: respond to what’s needed or supportive in a given moment; give them your full attention and affection in a spacious greeting; conveying care, consideration, and that they matter and are seen.

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