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  1. Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

    Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 10 minutes · 07/18/2021

    Sylvia Haskvitz offers a practical and effective approach to making requests. Learn the two questions that can clarify your motivation for making a request, three ways to discern a request from a demand, and five possible reasons for meeting requests.

  2. The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns.

  3. Exploring Your Connection to Life and to Your Life Purpose

    Exploring Your Connection to Life and to Your Life Purpose

    Robert Gonzales

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/25/2022

    Here are some questions to support you in exploring your connection to life, your life purpose. Here we briefly touch upon what blocks you, your gratitude, strengths, passions, and what you are committed to.

  4. Roxy Manning shares some strategies to support a child's natural curiosity when asking questions about physical differences using NVC skills.

  5. Roxy Manning shares some strategies to support a child's natural curiosity when asking questions about physical differences using NVC skills.

  6. Here are seven self inquiry questions. Half of them can help you assess your NVC consciousness. The other half can help you move from pain, fear, resistance, judgement, criticism, and shame – to love, compassion, understanding, appreciation, curiosity, and more.

  7. The Highest Leverage For Effective Meetings

    The Highest Leverage For Effective Meetings

    Alan Rafael Seid

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2022

    The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.

  8. Spiritual Practice in Troubled Times

    Spiritual Practice in Troubled Times

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/28/2023

    When your dedication to something is fueled by a profound intention to benefit all life, you may call it your spiritual practice. This means cultivating compassion, wisdom, and skills to notice what truly serves life. Its a discovery and experiment in what does and doesn't serve life, and what you can do now - its not about what you believe or not. Continuously inquire: "What most deeply serves life and how can I do that right now?"

    • Share NVC in a way that keeps your group engaged 
    • Walk away with practical facilitation tips and 5 session outlines
    • Know how to respond to nay-sayers
    • Learn how to promote your work
  9. Confidentiality Agreement

    Confidentiality Agreement

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

  10. The Cause of Our Feelings

    The Cause of Our Feelings

    John Kinyon, Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 3 - 5 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

  11. Knowing Ourselves

    Knowing Ourselves

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/6/2014

    Trainer Tip: The question is not what other people think of you, but what you think of yourself. Who are you, really? Take a moment to consider what you value.

  12. Valuing My Needs When I Habitually Don't

    Valuing My Needs When I Habitually Don't

    John Kinyon

    Audio · 9 minutes · 2/16/2014

    Listen to John answer an NVC Library member's question about what we can do when we habitually place other's needs ahead our own. Healing and change can be reached through compassionate self-connection, needs awareness, mourning and mindfulness.

  13. Fear of Negative Consequences

    Fear of Negative Consequences

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 8 minutes · 5/12/2015

    Miki responds to a participant’s question concerning fear of consequences when speaking with a manager at work. In this excerpt, she delves into the topic of choosing to inhabit nonviolence in the workplace, affirming that fear and nonviolence are incompatible, and that nonviolence is a powerful alternative to our habitual Fight, Flight, Freeze responses.

  14. The Essentials of Using NVC in Business

    The Essentials of Using NVC in Business

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 5 minutes · 5/31/2016

    Miki responds to a 2014 NVC in Business Conference participant’s question concerning the focus on needs over other aspects of NVC in business communication.

  15. What am I Willing to Pay for My Freedom?

    What am I Willing to Pay for My Freedom?

    Arnina Kashtan

    Audio · 13 minutes · 7/24/2021

    Arnina Kashtan works with a course participant to explore the question, "What am I Willing to Pay for My Freedom?" Arnina leads her in a process of self-inquiry to identify some the factors that leave her bound to conditioned behaviors, offering a path to freedom.

  16. Can I?

    Can I?

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 8 - 12 minutes · 10/18/2021

    Children often ask adults “Can I…?” This question is so common that we carry it with us into adulthood, often addressing each other in the same way -- and more so with those we see as authority figures. However, let's unpack how this phrasing can reaffirm power differences. And see how, instead, we can transform paradigms of power in a way that invites dialogue, and co-creates an outcome that we can mutually benefit from.

  17. Transforming Painful Patterns

    Transforming Painful Patterns

    Arnina Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 7 pages · 7/29/2010

    Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

    • Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
    • Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
    • Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
    • Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
    • Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future
  18. Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".

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