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  1. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

    Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/1/2024

    Trainer Tip: Research shows long-term change comes when people have intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while we're observed (eg. driving the speed limit when police are there). Notice where you're mostly intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. How does this feel? For instance, do you call mom because you want to connect with her? Or because you’re worried she’ll be hurt if you don’t?

  2. Modeling Behaviors You’d Like to Receive

    Modeling Behaviors You’d Like to Receive

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Trainer Tip: The ways that we interact with our children shape the way they will interact in their world. How do your actions model compassion, tolerance, and love for your children?

  3. Protective Use of Force

    Protective Use of Force

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/13/2014

    Trainer Tip: Mary explains the NVC principle known as the "protective use of force."

  4. Happy New Year!

    Happy New Year!

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    I greatly enjoyed my New Year’s Peace Meditation yesterday as it brings together NVC enthusiasts from across the world. It is one of my favorite traditions for welcoming the New Year!
  5. If you’d like to bring more joy and fun into your workplace, listen to this trainer dialogue for NVC tips and tools from some of the leading experts in the industry.

  6. Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal

    Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/4/2015

    Trainer Tip: We can improve our relationships by focusing our attention first on connection instead of other stragegies.

  7. Integrity

    Integrity

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/3/2017

    Trainer Tip: What does integrity mean to you? Each person has a different definition. For me, integrity means that I live in harmony with my values.

  8. Expressing Ourselves Honestly

    Expressing Ourselves Honestly

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/28/2019

    Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.

  9. Receiving Appreciation

    Receiving Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/20/2020

    Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.

  10. Nothing but the Facts

    Nothing but the Facts

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/10/2020

    Trainer Tip: There's often a large gap between what we experience, and the story we make up about it. Noticing how our judgments and assumptions cloud our observations can be critical to creating a connection with others and maintaining a Nonviolent Communication consciousness.

  11. Giraffe Consciousness

    Giraffe Consciousness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/17/2020

    Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the giraffe as a metaphor for NVC consciousness? What can it help us understand about NVC consciousness? Read on for more.

  12. Love Trumps Everything

    Love Trumps Everything

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/30/2021

    Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

  13. I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/7/2022

    Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

  14. Serenity As A Consciousness

    Serenity As A Consciousness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/28/2022

    Trainer Tip: Even when you hit deep emotional bottoms, instead of deciding whether something is good or bad, get clear on how you feel about it and what needs it will or will not meet. Let the Universe do the rest. Then take action to resolve any situations that are not enjoyable to you.

  15. Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

    Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic motivation for doing it.

  16. Empathy For Children

    Empathy For Children

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/1/2023

    Trainer Tip: The better you connect with your child’s needs, the more you will defuse the power struggle. If he wants to behave in a way you don't like, start by understanding what's going on with him by making empathic guesses. Doing this out loud can expand your child’s emotional vocabulary and show that his needs matter to you, and build his trust. Once you learn what's going on with him, create a strategy that values both your needs.

  17. When It’s Hard For Us To Express Our Needs

    When It’s Hard For Us To Express Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/20/2023

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes the expression of our needs can sound like demands or criticism. This can make it harder for people to want to contribute to us. Today, pay attention to how you express your needs. Find ways to release the emotional charge.

  18. Denying Our Needs

    Denying Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/17/2023

    Trainer Tip: It can be painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For example, we may try not to be passionate in our expression because if we think its “too much” for people. This can lead to trying to figuratively to squeeze ourselves into small spaces in life. Alternatively, we can choose who to share our passion with, and speak our truth to. Today, notice what you need and to work actively to meet your needs.

  19. Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

    Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 02/06/2024

    Trainer Tip: When we express frustration without blaming others and by clarifying our own needs and requests, we diminish the possibility of hurt feelings and separation in our relationships. So next time you feel very agitated or angry, rather than implying the other person is wrong or at fault, try the following: own your feelings, make a specific request, and rather than implying they need to give up their needs focus on your needs.

  20. Living Compassion:

    Living Compassion:

    Iris Bawidamann

    Live Zoom Course · ·

    • Gain a deeper insight into the spiritual practice of NVC as taught by Robert Gonzales
    • Enhance your emotional intelligence and self-compassion
    • Learn compassionate self-talk techniques and cultivate more inner peace
    • Approach change with a peaceful mindset, rather than anxiety and fear
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