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  1. Denying Our Needs

    Denying Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/17/2023

    Trainer Tip: It can be painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For example, we may try not to be passionate in our expression because if we think its “too much” for people. This can lead to trying to figuratively to squeeze ourselves into small spaces in life. Alternatively, we can choose who to share our passion with, and speak our truth to. Today, notice what you need and to work actively to meet your needs.

  2. Deal-Breakers and Staying with Yourself

    Deal-Breakers and Staying with Yourself

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 8 - 12 minutes · 1/26/2024

    When deciding if someone crossed your boundaries and how to respond, you may get conflicting opinions on it. These opinions can be coarse attempts to manage life with rules about what should(n’t) happen. Instead, so that you can find where you want to invest your energy, ask yourself questions that reveal what for you is truly in integrity, nourishing, connects to your heart, and deepens self understanding. Read on for examples.

  3. Serenity is a Choice

    Serenity is a Choice

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/15/2023

    Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet at work.

  4. Choosing Your Response

    Choosing Your Response

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/2/2023

    Trainer Tip: We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. We can blame the speaker, blame ourselves, we can self empathize by acknowledging our feelings and needs, or we can empathize with the other person's feelings and needs. Be aware of these options and consciously make your choice based on the needs you want to meet.

  5. Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships.

  6. When working to repair a relationship after conflict, and after reaching mutual care and understanding, you’re more likely to prevent future disconnection in similar situations by coming to clear, specific, and actionable agreements. Ensure requests for agreements come from a negotiable needs-based dialogue. Clarify specifics and plan to revisit agreements to assess their effectiveness.

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  8. Discover how self-empathy fosters healthy, supportive relationships with children and others.

  9. The Cause of Our Feelings

    The Cause of Our Feelings

    John Kinyon, Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 3 - 5 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Exploring how stories and unmet needs each influence the cause of our feelings in NVC.

  10. Empathy vs. Investigation

    Empathy vs. Investigation

    Elia Paz

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 12/29/2019

    To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more about how to do this.

  11. Empathy And Strategies For Overwhelm

    Empathy And Strategies For Overwhelm

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 12/21/2022

    Making decisions from overwhelm can be costly for you and others. Instead, to get distance name overwhelm as it comes. Apply self-compassion. Be suspicious of your impulse to withdraw. Find ways to meet your needs. Tell others about your overwhelm. This may allow more support, connection and trust-building. Plan what to do to meet your needs next time you're overwhelmed. Tweak your plan.

  12. Miki Kashtan hosted Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a a woman whose relationship is challenged by what happens when her lover drinks. In this segment, Miki encourages the caller to get support for her stress, find an outlet for it and receive empathy. Miki addresses the challenges of addiction, the self-judgment of trying to meet needs by drinking and the pain this causes for everyone involved. She further suggests that the caller try to connect to the needs he is trying to meet by drinking, and to identify those that are actually being met and those that aren’t.

  13. Creating and Sustaining Strong Teams

    Creating and Sustaining Strong Teams

    4 Session Course

    Miki Kashtan

    Multi-session Course · 5 - 7 hours · 11/15/2022

    Strengthen team collaboration by building relationships and navigating shared challenges.

  14. Myths Of Power With

    Myths Of Power With

    Everyone Can Be Included

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 12 minutes · 7/13/2023

    Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.

    • Learn how every decision we make perpetuates the status quo or brings us closer to the vision of a world that works for all
    • Find out about our big brain capacity to integrate needs, impacts, and resources to make decisions that work for everyone
    • Understand why power differences interfere with collaborative decisions and what can be done about it
    • Discover tools that support collaboration in larger groups and organizations— even across power differences!
  15. Using Conflict to Reflect on Fulfilling My Needs

    Using Conflict to Reflect on Fulfilling My Needs

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/26/2010

    Trainer Tip: Use conflict with others as a way to learn more about yourself.
  16. Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: The link between storytelling, being "right," and connecting to an unmet need.
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