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It's normal for us to keep something inside, avoiding sharing it with someone else as the risk may feel too high. Maybe they will reject me, or be offended and not speak to me again? It can be difficult to know when to share your truth and when to keep it inside. In this episode we layout some useful strategies that will help you speak your truth, while still keeping the connection.
Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others.
Trainer Tip: Mary offers a perspective on how to know if our need for honesty is being met.
Trainer Tip: When we withhold our truth or lie, we can create emotional and physical distance in our relationships. By being honest, we can strengthen relationships. And when someone doesn’t appreciate your honesty, try empathizing with them. It can help to notice how your actions stimulate feelings in other people -- even as they are not the cause of their feelings.
Making a decision or boundary that invites someone to be honest about their feelings can be difficult. Remember that lack of authenticity may be due to lack of awareness, inner conflict, or fear of conflict, rather than dishonesty. Offer empathy and reassurance and invite more conversation. Approach with compassion and curiosity to naturally invite more honesty.
Ask the Trainer: "I recently attended an NVC workshop where the focus was entirely upon empathy, and expressing honestly was not covered. Aren't empathy and honesty both vital NVC components?"
Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).
How we choose to communicate can either open or shut down connection. We express ourselves through our bodies, so no matter how ‘nicely’ we offer words, if they are not aligned with our energy, they won’t be congruent. This session will offer simple yet powerful tools to connect to your needs and others' needs, allowing more authentic words that are imbued with care.
What do you do when you are thinking that it's not "emotionally safe" to speak honestly? Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this topic with a workshop participant.
Does unworthiness keep you from expressing vulnerably and honestly? Afraid of being "found out?" Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this topic with a workshop participant to discern stories from needs, recognize the tension between self-acceptance and personal development and sit with the discomfort of self-acceptance.
Article
5 - 7 minutes
Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response...
Join Jim Manske for practice exercises that will help you navigate away from reactivity toward a more compassionate way of being in the world, and learn to express vulnerable honesty(scary honesty} .
Kelly Bryson, CNVC Certified Trainer known for teaching people how to live authentically, focuses this audio on honesty: how to express what you're most afraid to say, when honesty is the best choice to support connection and how to employ "naked" honesty.
Jori and Jim Manske offer writing practices to help us become more firmly grounded in the authorship of our lives. That grounding helps us share ourselves with others more authentically and vulnerably(scary honesty)
Jori and Jim Manske offer a process they call "The Zero Step," encompassing the characteristics of warmth toward self and other, care for the vitality of both yourself and other(s), wonder/interest, vulnerability and empathy, which leads directly to connection requests and an openness to outcome.
It seems death cafes are everywhere these days. But how changed are we by the conversations we're now having? Not everyone is open to talking about death. It may well be that someone in your life is nearing the end of their days and their refusal to talk about it may be confusing and disheartening. How do you get them to speak when they don't want to? In this session, we will explore different...
Join Jori and Jim Manske to explore, learn and practice an NVC approach to mourning and celebration.
Join Jori and Jim Manske to explore, learn and practice the art of receiving the word "no," re-framing it from fear into fun.
Rodger Sorrow introduces us to "Connection Time," a practice for you and a significant other to deepen, broaden and mend your relationship with each other.
In this edition of Conflict Improv, CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King navigates the challenging practice of expressing honesty when that expression might easily be heard as criticism.