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  1. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  2. Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

    Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 02/06/2024

    Trainer Tip: When we express frustration without blaming others and by clarifying our own needs and requests, we diminish the possibility of hurt feelings and separation in our relationships. So next time you feel very agitated or angry, rather than implying the other person is wrong or at fault, try the following: own your feelings, make a specific request, and rather than implying they need to give up their needs focus on your needs.

  3. Express Anger with Responsibility

    Express Anger with Responsibility

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/7/2021

    Anger can bring in judgment and blame. Instead, use anger and frustration to identify what’s important and express what matters to you in a collaborative way.

  4. Being Resourceful With My Intense Emotions

    Being Resourceful With My Intense Emotions

    Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 3/18/2020

    What can we do to bring vitality and resourcefulness back into our lives when we are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, or frustrated? Read on for a nine step process.

  5. Hidden Needs

    Hidden Needs

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

  6. The Value of Taking a Step Back

    The Value of Taking a Step Back

    Kelly Bryson

    Articles · 6 - 9 minutes · 11/28/2012

    Have you ever gotten a fishing line all tangled up? You got so frustrated you just started yanking on the different loops of line, which of course made the knots and tangles even tighter and more difficult to untangle. Wouldn’t it be great if you could notice the minute you were starting to tangle things up in a discussion with your loved one?

  7. Taking the First Step

    Taking the First Step

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/1/2021

    Trainer Tip: If you're doing personal growth work, and changing your behaviors, you may find yourself wanting others to join your efforts with similar levels of enthusiasm. When they don't do so, you may feel frustrated and place judgments on them, thinking they aren't as caring. You'll be less likely to feel disappointed in people if you remind yourself that when you do personal growth work, what needs you are meeting for yourself.

  8. Anatomy of a Trigger

    Anatomy of a Trigger

    Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

    Mary Mackenzie

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 12/18/2018

    When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

  9. Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

    Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/9/2014

    Trainer Tip: Clarifying our requests can make the difference between frustration and satisfaction, Mary shows you how.

  10. Living Peacefully

    Living Peacefully

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/5/2022

    Trainer Tip: When we match might with might, we create discord, frustration, and separation from other people. Instead, place aside your urge to be right or to win. Approach charged situations with a sincere desire to be honest, and to value everyone’s needs including your own. The way you show up is a valuable asset. You may not get what you asked for but you can increase your chances of meeting your needs for integrity, and more.

  11. Colloquial NVC Options

    Colloquial NVC Options

    Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 5 - 8 minutes · 9/10/2024

    How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.
  12. How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.

  13. Integrating NVC

    Integrating NVC

    (6 Session Course)

    Kathleen Macferran

    Multi-session Course · 7 - 9 hours · 9/5/2017

    Does NVC seem like a good idea, but not practical? Do you feel frustrated when you find yourself in the same jackal scenario repeatedly? Let beloved trainer Kathleen Macferran guide you toward integrating NVC into all aspects of your life.

  14. Everyday Parenting Challenges

    Everyday Parenting Challenges

    Ingrid Bauer

    Audio · 1 hour, 32 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ingrid guides parents to navigate everyday parenting challenges using the NVC model, such as the behavior of a frustrated child, a messy room, transition times and a child who collapses when things don't work out as she had hoped.

  15. Working for Transformation without Recreating the Past

    Working for Transformation without Recreating the Past

    Social Change and Nonviolence - Introduction

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 1 hour · 8/1/2016

    Want things to change in your community, but feel frustrated or don’t know what to do? Miki’s intriguing overview of how to apply the principles of NVC to social change movements may have the exact blend of inspiration and ideas you’re seeking!

  16. Want things to change in your community, but feel frustrated or don’t know what to do? Miki’s intriguing overview of how to apply the principles of NVC to social change movements may have the exact blend of inspiration and ideas you’re seeking!

  17. Changing Our Habitual Approach to Change

    Changing Our Habitual Approach to Change

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/4/2020

    Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.

  18. How to Hear Difficult Messages

    How to Hear Difficult Messages

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/9/2020

    Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

  19. Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

    Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/19/2022

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

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