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Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

Trainer tip: Comparisons are a form of judgment. The minute we compare ourselves to other people, we are setting ourselves up for pain and discouragement. We are setting them up too, and erecting a barrier between ourselves and them. Instead, notice how you feel about other people’s assets or foibles, and what needs come up for you. Read on for more.

Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.

Anytime you create something new in your life, you can fulfill your need for creativity. Expand your concept of what it means to be creative. Read on for examples.

• Learn concrete tools for engaging with others as you embrace individual and collective liberation
• Find your own source of choice even in the face of challenges
• Release the constriction of scarcity
• Find an empowered option to respond to what is happening in our world
• Open the door to the possibility of thriving rather than merely surviving

• Inscrease compassion for yourself through understanding why your capacity may lag so far behind your commitment and what you can do to bridge the gap
• Higher Compassion for your children as you understand better what life is like from within their own experience rather than from the outside looking in
• Surge in energy that you can put into new conversations with them designed to make agreements that are based on the truth of where you all are rather than on any "should"

Trainer Tip: The surest way to enjoy life is to do things that meet your needs. If you don’t enjoy a particular activity, consider the need you hope to meet by doing it. For instance, for each item you want to do consider the needs you're trying to meet. Connect to the joy of that need. Then for each ask: “How would I feel if I delayed finishing this item?”. Consider which items you want to continue, pause, or reprioritize. This can help increase life enjoyment.

Trainer Tip: Even when it's tempting to coerce or match might with might, we can strive to meet our needs without negatively affecting others. Instead of convincing anyone to do it our way or to value the same things we value, we can focus on what we value: compassion among people and valuing everyone’s needs. By doing this we are actually more likely to meet our own needs and we are better able to live peacefully.

Trainer Tip: When in a conflict that doesn’t seem to have a solution being aware of your needs, and then being creative and flexible about getting them met, can go a long way to coming up with creative solutions that work for everyone.

• Increase your sense of connection and compassion, even in the heat of conflict
• Deepen your access to needs consciousness and the powerful energy of gratitude
• Learn how to make powerful requests that support the flow of connection
• Expand your self-empathy skills to help you shift away from reactivity

This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

Does the thought of asking the following question stop you cold? "Would you tell me what you heard me say?" Mary Mackenzie, CNVC Certified Trainer known for her colloquial method of speaking and teaching NVC, offers a simpler method.

Trainer Tip: The ways that we interact with our children shape the way they will interact in their world. How do your actions model compassion, tolerance, and love for your children?

Are you a spiritual seeker who longs for an approach that supports compassion for self as well as profound spiritual transformation? If so, you’ll enjoy this telecourse recording with Robert Gonzales and Leo Sofer as they engage in dynamic discussions about NVC as a spiritual practice.