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What's really going on underneath the surface when we bring or encounter blame, judgements, pain -- and thereby the inability to empathize, be present, attuned, or responsive?  Why does this happen even if one or more people in a relationship dynamic is working hard at bringing in an NVC response? This article addresses these and more questions from the perspective of how our brains are affected in our relationships.

For many people, attempting to connect with others across differences can feel akin to walking through a minefield. With humility, tenderness, and courage, Roxy challenges your perspectives and encourages you to open your heart and mind. Roxy uses concrete examples and visual tools to illustrate complex concepts.

Jim and Jori’s Zero Step helps you focus your attention on your intention to connect, and then affirms your intention to live in the present. Listen in as they demonstrate the process — and learn about the benefits of using and cultivating it!

According to this article, what we do before we move into the NVC dance profoundly influences the outcome and everyone involved.  This "before" step increases the likelihood of living compassionately, and our support openness to outcome.  It can also make our NVC practice less connecting, and more evaluative.  The article addresses these points and talks about ways to move beyond the dead past, and the imagined future, to step into the the only “time and place” that both NVC operates and that the connection we so fervently want actually exists (ie. the present moment).

The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?).  This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...

Trainer tip: When you tell yourself that you have to do something, you're more likely to disconnect yourself from the needs you’re trying to meet, and also diminish the joy in your life. Instead, experiment with translating your “shoulds” and “have tos” into the need you are trying to meet.

Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

What exactly IS empathy? Empathy is the connection that happens between you and another when you experience your differences while holding on to underlying threads of commonality. In this recording, John will be sharing in-depth practices designed to give you the ability to speak and listen from a place of empathic presence, as well as a Self-Connection Practice specially formulated to help you come back to that empathy connection when you’ve gotten triggered into “fight-flight-freeze.”

How can we live life fully connected to the core values of nonviolence, no matter the circumstances, internal or external? Join Miki Kashtan as she shares the 17 core commitments that have served as a compass for herself and hundreds of others around the world as well.

Learn tools to help you reconnect and repair your relationship with your adult children. Whether the issues are estrangement, lack of trust, conflict, dependence, miscommunication or any other challenge that impacts you with your grown sons and daughters, your heart will find comfort and ease through this course.

• Celebrate and nurture your relationship to the Earth — and each other! 
• Explore your connections to family, partner, work, nature, self and more 
• Discover new ways to grow in community and work together to make this world a better place  
• Engage and immerse yourself in NVC while making new friends! 

In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.

Trainer Tip: Taking time to mourn our regrets and unmet needs can lead to a deeper self-connection and feelings of peace.

Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs.

How do we live each and every day from the “living energy of needs” – with the unimpeded fullness of life’s energies flowing through us, regardless of the conflicts or life circumstances we may be experiencing? Through developing deep self-compassion. How can we experience our inner world from a place of utter and total compassion? When we practice compassionate self-care, we create an inner spaciousness that allows our life’s energies to flow. In that spaciousness both healing and inner transformation occurs. Robert’s work explores the interweaving of two co-intentions—to live life from the fullness of the “beauty of needs” and to approach every experience with deep compassion.

Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet at work.

• Gain a new, surprising, and exciting connection to yourself that will enable you to both deepen the sense of power in your life and actualize everything you've always dreamed of… 
• Experience being fully present in the world — despite your habits — so that you'll always be connected to your inner center and thus be able to choose at any given moment where to take your life…
• Understand how to create within yourself (and others!) a sense of flow and love, making your life much more beautiful and exciting… 
• Learn how to open up in your relationships in ways you never thought would be possible, creating an entirely different closeness and intimacy in your life… 

Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.