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Love keeps the thread of connection intact in times when all around us we see the human fabric becoming threadbare. When we dig deep with love into guessing what others care about that had given rise to their actions, it changes us. It brings us closer to understanding the incomprehensible -- and closer to vision, imagination, humility, curiosity, commonality, and loving action. Read on for more on applying this to people we deem "conspiracy theorists", and those who are on the other end of the political divide.

The pandemic asks us to examine the way we have always done things. It asks to try something new and notice what happens. This is an opportunity to ask why you have done holidays in a certain way and what needs it met to do it that way. Perhaps it is an opportunity to experiment and see what new things might arise. Read on for questions to ask yourself that might help you process your triggers, "should's", feelings, needs and dilemmas.

Sitting with not knowing is an NVC skill because its the opposite of reactivity. In our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of wonder, possibility, and creativity.

To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more.

While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.

When someone doesn't want to talk some options include releasing your attachment to the strategy you want, asking about and affirming with empathy their reasons for not talking, looking for what support could be helpful to shift to more openness, letting go, and grieving. Read on for more on this, including possible reasons for why they might not want to engage on it.

Transform arguments with these steps: take responsibility for your mind, increase your capacity for discomfort, slow down, show up and remember your values, offer understanding, take risks, and speak from your heart. Learning new skills takes time, energy and effort. However, it’s entirely possible to radically shift the way we communicate. The key is patience, persistence, and taking it one step at a time.

However indirectly expressed, any judgement or criticism is about the person's own thoughts, feelings, needs, and requests.This awareness can help you take people's comments less personally, and give you options: silent self-empathy, standing in your truth, contact and curiosity, and honest expression.

Mediation is a great skill to have whether it's for your personal relationships or in the workplace. We look at four different techniques and their benefits in a role-play between two neighbours discussing a dispute.

Mediation is a great skill to have whether it's for your personal relationships or in the workplace. We look at four different techniques and their benefits in a role-play that takes place in an informal, unorganised setting.

Being put on the spot or confronted in an unexpected way can be an unpleasant experience to have. Even more so during lockdown when meetings are held on Zoom.

In Life Hack 35 we're exploring the feelings that come up from hearing a difficult message as well as ways you can respond. Esme recently had this experience and offered to record a one on one session with Gesine to explore the situation.

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

Building trust involves each person taking responsibility for what they want by identifying their needs, and making specific and doable requests that open a negotiation. Identify in what contexts you already have trust, what you want to be able to trust, and how you may be blocking or cultivating that trust. Making requests for specific actions of what to do differently can also help.

Struggling to navigate needs between the vaccinated and unvaccinated during the COVID-19 pandemic? How can we disagree and still understand each other? Listen in as a participant engages with Miki about her struggle to choreograph people's divergent needs around vaccines, and enjoy Miki's tip for reflecting back understanding when we disagree!

With practice we can prevent reactivity from overtaking and harming: notice signs of reactivity, bring compassion to it, see reactivity as the misperception of threat and a distortion of what's happening, plus engage and pursue connection and the clarity to weaken reactive impulses. In taking responsibility like this overtime, you can live from your values and from care. And life can get easier for you and others around you.

Enmeshment refers to confusion about who is responsible for what. This lack of clear boundaries results in attempts to manage the other person's experience as a substitute for managing your own. When you think you're contributing to another person, but you're actually acting from enmeshment, there's inner tension and contraction. Read on for 16 common signs of enmeshment so that you can know when to pause and connect to your needs.

When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests.

When someone stimulates your pain, you may want them to express care and empathy for your experience. If they're unwilling, you may resent it. You may forget the power of many strategies to meet a need, and you lose your agency. This can lead to reactive habits in you -- such as pleading, demanding, or attacking. Here are reasons you may not be getting an apology or empathy, and what options you have in moving forward.

Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they think, feel, or need.

Notice when you start to defend. Is your body tensing up? Feeling desperate for the other to understand you or your intentions? Find yourself explaining your behavior, giving all the good reasons why you did what you did? Trying to convince the other of your good intentions? If so, ask yourself: “Is this what I want to be doing right now? Is this really helping?” then practice one of these eight options.