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  1. Changing A One-Way Caretaking Relationship

    Changing A One-Way Caretaking Relationship

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 8 minutes · 10/24/2022

    Notice situations where you're attending to another and giving up on your needs with resentment or a sense of submitting. You can also watch for “shoulds,” obligation, and black-and-white thinking around the support you offer. Is there a sense that if you don't carry out a particular action something bad will happen? If so, identify the needs at hand and brainstorm a variety of strategies to meet them.

  2. Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Yvette Erasmus

    Video · 6 minutes · 05/23/2023

    The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

  3. caretaking

    System Administrator

    · 9 minutes · 2/16/2014

    Listen to John answer an NVC Library member's question about what we can do when we habitually place other's needs ahead our own. Healing and change can be reached through compassionate self-connection, needs awareness, mourning and mindfulness.

  4. Meeting Needs While Caretaking

    Meeting Needs While Caretaking

    Godfrey Spencer

    Trainer Tips · 7 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: Can all needs be met when illness limits the capacity of one person to meet the needs of her partner?

  5. What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators and attributes of each of these distinctions.

  6. Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs.

  7. Part of nonviolence is having an infinite circle of care that includes simultaneous care of ourselves, others and groups: no one is beyond the pale. Plus, it's about having an infinite trust in the possibility that we can reach someone's heart even if we don't now know how -- since regardless of what this other person has done, they have the same needs. Without this kind of trust, nonviolence would crumble as way to create change.

  8. Taking Care Of Yourself When Visiting Family

    Taking Care Of Yourself When Visiting Family

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/7/2023

    Before entering a family gathering, set your intention to notice reactivity and make a plan for self-care when it comes up. It might also be helpful to imagine repetitive interactions and plan how you will respond; for example with a boundary, honest expression, empathy, or by taking a time-out for self-care. Remember your core values, intention, and how you are committed to showing up in the world.

  9. Blame, Responsibility, And Care

    Blame, Responsibility, And Care

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 11 - 16 minutes · 10/9/2022

    One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - one may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using this principle. Instead, we can hear their pain with care and heartfelt mourning - without guilt nor defensiveness, and whether or not we agree. All this is important if we're sincerely applying compassion. Read on for more.

  10. Expanding The Circle Of Care

    Expanding The Circle Of Care

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 5/4/2022

    Who are you not use to caring about? Is it those you classify as "other"? Those you disagree with? The lower class? People in power? Those who inflict harm? Yourself? To include everyone's needs fully, not instead of your needs, can transform the either/or paradigm. It can also help us to go beyond so-called "codependency". And it can support us all to live more sustainably on this planet.

  11. The Power of Authenticity + Care

    The Power of Authenticity + Care

    Roxy Manning

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 5/11/2019

    When we're on the receiving end of pain-stimulating assumptions, a microaggression, or prejudice --when we're reactive and resultingly have self-doubt, guilt or shame in ourselves-- is it possible to be intensely authentic while holding care for everyone in the situation? Can we effectively do this even as a third party witnesses to these things? Self-empathy, empathy, and a commitment to authenticity have become essential tools I need to keep sharpened in my toolbox if I am to show up and do the work I value in this world.

  12. Honesty With Care (Body-Based NVC)

    Honesty With Care (Body-Based NVC)

    Anna Groves

    Video · 1 hour, 47 minutes · 05/17/2022

    How we choose to communicate can either open or shut down connection. We express ourselves through our bodies, so no matter how ‘nicely’ we offer words, if they are not aligned with our energy, they won’t be congruent. This session will offer simple yet powerful tools to connect to your needs and others' needs, allowing more authentic words that are imbued with care.

  13. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  14. Confronting with Care

    Confronting with Care

    An Approach that Builds Trust

    Martha Lasley

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 3/3/2020

    People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.

  15. Often patients need enough emotional space to reduce any inner stuckness in their situation. They need to do this before they can adequately absorb information or effectively take next steps. Empathy can help with this. Empathy requires an intention to connect non-judgmentally. This gets better with practice. Read on for examples of how a situation can play out with, and without, empathy. And the difference it makes in healthcare.

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