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Whenever we make mistakes, we're often beating ourself up in a way that breeds guilt, fear and/or shame. Nonviolent Communication offers a model based in self-empathy that lets you reflect, process and move forward without the guilt, fear and shame.
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In this Life Hack, we're going deeper into self-empathy with a simple guided reflection that you can work through. This will be followed by a short exercise with a fill-in sheet led by Gesine and is something you can come back to as you wish.
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In this moving reflection, Rachelle Lamb honors Marshall Rosenberg’s true vision for Nonviolent Communication—not just as a tool for personal transformation, but as a catalyst for deep social change. She reminds us that inner work alone is not enough in a world facing ecological collapse, rising suicide rates, and widespread displacement.
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When speaking to decision makers about social change issues it helps to communicate with compassion, clarity, curiosity, calm, and respect while seeking to understand their needs. This way there’s a better chance for more trust and connection that’s crucial for a win-win strategy to come about. This may take several conversations.
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Trainer tip: If you are in a relationship (whether personal or work related) that you are not happy with, consider talking to the other person in an effort to connect about both your needs. Talking about it doesn’t guarantee that you will like the resolution, but not talking about it guarantees continued unhappiness. Read on for more.
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Anger and resentment can signal unmet needs. Through mourning those needs and practicing self-empathy, we may let go of blame, embrace reality, and reclaim responsibility for fulfilling our own needs. This process may lead to emotional transformation through conscious reflection, and a new outlook.
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Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to creating empathic connection.
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When you attempt to make a request what limiting beliefs come up? See if you recognize any from this list. Then compassionately observe your body sensations, impulses, feelings, needs, memories, energy, and images. In making the request ensure your request is connected to your needs, is doable, what you want, and not attached to them saying yes.
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Certified CNVC Trainer Roxy Manning, Phd, shares three steps on how to reflect on what needs are being served when deciding to implement a strategy.

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