Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.

Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly...

Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.

Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.

Trainer tip: When you want to thank someone expressing what that person did, how you felt about and what needs were met for you, can provide the other person with more information. It can also help her more fully understand how she contributed to you, and deepen your connection with her.

Trainer Tip: When we acknowledge our met needs, rather than labeling the other person as good or bad, we achieve a clarity of mind that deepens our connection to ourselves and other people.

Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best...

Trainer Tip: When we withhold our truth or lie, we can create emotional and physical distance in our relationships. By being honest, we can strengthen relationships. And when someone doesn’t appreciate your honesty, try empathizing with them. It can help to notice how your actions stimulate feelings in other people -- even as they are not the cause of their feelings.

Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what...

Inbal answers a parent's question about praise and offers a perspective on how praise translates into the NVC framework.

Trainer Tip: Do you ever think you’re taking life just a little too seriously? Many of us work hard trying to improve our outlook, our ability to communicate, and our lives. Sometimes we work so hard, we forget to enjoy life. So let’s make a pact to enjoy our day.

Trainer Tip: Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Read on.

Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or...

Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a...

Mourning, grief and celebration is a way to connect with what we love and want to honor. In this trainer tip we learn that these three things can become a way for us to understand our emotions regarding our losses and appreciations.

Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We...

This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Trainer Tip: Here are some options for tense moments in conversations: try a "redo", understand and recognize your habits, pause to regroup, empathize with the person so they feel heard, check your mind frame before speaking, and name some appreciations about one another.

Here are seven self inquiry questions. Half of them can help you assess your NVC consciousness. The other half can help you move from pain, fear, resistance, judgement, criticism, and shame – to love, compassion, understanding, appreciation, curiosity, and more.

To express opposition without stimulating distress, stop judging and look for ways to honor, understand, and have compassion for others. You can do this by finding a point of agreement. For example, you can agree with part of what they said. Or if you completely disagree, you can express what greater understanding, inspiration, appreciation or empathy you have in response to what they're...