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  1. I Want to Leave When Facing Anger

    I Want to Leave When Facing Anger

    Arnina Kashtan

    Video · 4 minutes · 12/12/2021

    Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.

  2. Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.

  3. Responding to Anger

    Responding to Anger

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 3/30/2020

    When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.

  4. Transforming Children's Anger

    Transforming Children's Anger

    Inbal Kashtan

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 11/29/2021

    What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy transformed a child's impulse to hit another child.

  5. CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan tells us to look to our inner dialogue and the other's needs when we're feeling fear of physical violence that's been stimlated by someone's anger.

  6. Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.

  7. I am not an angry person…

    I am not an angry person…

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    Recently, I have been pondering anger, how I express it and the jackal story I tell myself about it. Marshall Rosenberg taught that anger is a natural emotion that is based on a judgment of someone else or myself. I agree with this, so I have been doing some “enemy images” and self-empathy work (and praying for those who are most likely to be the recipients of my anger). My goal was to clear my judgments and take responsibility for my “stuff.” It has helped a lot, and yet I still feel a general anger in me that is not directly related to anyone or any specific situation.
  8. NVC Life Hacks 4

    NVC Life Hacks 4

    Anger

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 4 minutes · 05/04/2019

    Anger is an emotion we'd often like to disown! Shantigarbha offers us five tips for "finding the life" in our anger, and ends with a short, guided reflection.

  9. Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

    Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 12/23/2021

    In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

  10. NVC Life Hacks 39

    NVC Life Hacks 39

    Transforming Anger

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 13 minutes · 06/08/2023

    We live in a world where there is a lot of anger. It can be a strong and intense emotion that we feel or receive from others sometimes on a daily basis. Whether that's an agitated partner, road rage, or a disgruntled colleague. While we're familiar with this feeling, we're not necessarily well equipped with how to express it in a healthy way. In this month's Life Hack, Shantigarbha takes us through a guided reflection on anger.

  11. Alarm Feelings

    Alarm Feelings

    Anger, Guilt, Shame and Shut Down

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 8/7/2022

    Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs.

  12. Tips for the Road Series Tip 10

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 10

    Take It to the Trees

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/3/2017

    One of the most important things you can do to live a meaningful and rewarding life filled with vitality is reclaim your emotions. Eric offers a tip to reclaim your emotions, rescuing you from the numb and deadening state of “fine."

  13. Every Angry Message is a "Please"

    Every Angry Message is a "Please"

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Trainer Tip: Anger can be an opportunity to hear the "Please" behind the words and create a path to resolve conflicts compassionately.

  14. Our Afghan Story Revisited

    Our Afghan Story Revisited

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 5 - 7 minutes · 11/11/2023

    Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.

  15. Listen to this short 3 session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King, and you will learn how to honor the wisdom that your anger, fear, shame and other BIG emotions have for you.

  16. When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

  17. How to Express Feelings

    How to Express Feelings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/22/2020

    Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

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