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Trainer Tip: Strive for win-win resolutions where no one loses. Try this rather than deciding things by the majority or compromise, where one or more parties feel dissatisfied with the resolution because it involves an element of giving in. An alternative is shifting; both people connect to the needs they are trying to meet, and in doing so, one person makes an honest shift to contribute to the other person’s needs and life.

Avoiding conflict is an even greater issue than having conflict. Not being as competent at conflict we avoid it. And in many cases that creates more conflict. Conflict is inevitable because we have different perspectives. Conflict is not bad. It is an opportunity for increased connection, intimacy, joy, and creative win-win solutions. Instead of avoiding conflict, we can work on increasing our skill in handling conflict.

Trainer Tip: When we match might with might, we create discord, frustration, and separation from other people. Instead, place aside your urge to be right or to win. Approach charged situations with a sincere desire to be honest, and to value everyone’s needs including your own. The way you show up is a valuable asset. You may not get what you asked for but you can increase your chances of meeting your needs for integrity, and more.

Trainer Tip: "Power over" refers to using power, coercion, fear or authority to force change. It rarely brings lasting change. "Power with" refers to power that seeks to meet everyone’s needs. A "power with" system values input and needs of everyone who will be affected by decisions. When you notice you're using a power over paradigm to get results, shift focus to power with. Notice how this shift in consciousness affects results.

I’ve been part of a fitness group here in California for the past 1.5 years. It’s called Boot Camp, and I have no idea why! Anyway, most people in the class are 25-30 years younger than I am and have been part of this group for several years. I don’t lift weights as heavy as theirs and I can’t always keep up with them, but I had felt confident that I was holding my own (except when jogging, which is the one place where I consistently lag far behind them). I found a way to be okay with this, to enjoy working out with them, without thinking I should be as strong or skilled as they are.

Trainer Tip: Discovering the unmet needs is only a starting point. The other part is to understand what it will take to meet that need, and make a request that will accomplish this. This way, we can resolve situations before they escalate. Everyone benefits when we are clear about what we would like.

Please join veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Robert Gonzales, to explore how you can embody the consciousness of NVC and live every moment of every day in the fullness of compassion - for yourself and others.

Trainer Tip: Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Read on.

Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice where you struggle with this.

In this inspiring interview, Wes Taylor relays a story of how Nonviolent Communication is successfully used in law enforcement, and some of his challenges and joys in infusing Nonviolent Communication into a Maryland hospital culture.

Listen to the Universe is a fun group exercise to explore how we focus our attention and interpret what we experience.

Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.

• Deepen your capacity for self-acceptance and self-compassion
• Bring greater compassion to your relationships
• Increase your capacity for vulnerability and mourning
• Enhance your sense of trusting your own place in life, as well as your purpose

Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.

Come. Let us journey together into our own authentic Life force: the essential living energy that permeates all of our lives.

Your journey will begin at the center: with the divine / life force, or soul force.

Robert Gonzales shares how this fundamental life energy is the tender expression of your inner being, or soul. It unfolds through the heart as your deepest longings, which manifest themselves in all forms of human needs and values. When you live from the energies of compassion, creativity, love, and clarity – while remaining wholly grounded and aware of needs and values – then you are living your passion… You are living the Self-In-Life.

Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our children with calm and compassion.

Trainer Tip: When we respond in a way that is less than our ideal in terms of using NVC, we don't have to give up and think we are no good at NVC or that NVC doesn't work!

Join Roxy Manning for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect people of color.

Join Dian Killian and Mary Mackenzie for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect women.