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There are many polarizing issues we can resist and fight over. The word "resistance" can mean fighting against what we don’t agree with in counterproductive ways. It can also be the illusion and futility of mentally fighting against reality of 'what is'. But acceptance, non-resistance, of what is doesn’t mean powerless resignation. Another way to resist is to accept and love whole-heartedly, with empathy and care for the people doing the things we are resisting.

Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.

We only have this decade to make radical changes to avert crossing over into an unlivable Earth. What's essential is a critical mass of people with capacity to respond to many enormous, daunting social-environmental challenges. This means on a wider scale, responding to conflict, fear, hate, injustice and violence with the ability to see our commonality underlying our differences. And to feel part of a larger whole so we can birth natural caring, togetherness, and cooperation.

Enjoy listening to Miki make the distinction between leadership as a position and leadership as an orientation to life. The theme: when is it time to actively step into your vision?! Check it out.

Trainer Tip: The surest way to enjoy life is to do things that meet your needs. If you don’t enjoy a particular activity, consider the need you hope to meet by doing it. For instance, for each item you want to do consider the needs you're trying to meet. Connect to the joy of that need. Then for each ask: “How would I feel if I delayed finishing this item?”. Consider which items you want to continue, pause, or reprioritize. This can help increase life enjoyment.

When we're on the receiving end of pain-stimulating assumptions, a microaggression, or prejudice --when we're reactive and resultingly have self-doubt, guilt or shame in ourselves-- is it possible to be intensely authentic while holding care for everyone in the situation? Can we effectively do this even as a third party witnesses to these things? Self-empathy, empathy, and a commitment to authenticity have become essential tools I need to keep sharpened in my toolbox if I am to show up and do the work I value in this world.

When we're judging we're less able to access both what we care about and constructive next actions. Instead, create more internal space and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects make requests or take aligned action that works for all.

Our "felt-sense" can provide crucial information about our experience and our lives. It can also help us integrate and retain information. This can also bring greater access to internal resources, choice, open heartedness, collaboration and creative solutions. From there, profound insight and transformation can follow. Here's how we can harness that...

Untethering from dominant culture and internalized oppression takes releasing attachments and persistence inspite upheavals -- all with insufficient support. Even in community building we can bring oppression into our efforts to untether. The more we walk towards vision, the more tethers of patriarchy we undo, the more the cost. By exacting such high cost, patriarchal societies reproduce and sustain themselves. To untether we need fortitude.

Reacting is deciding what to do based on what someone else does. Responding is deciding what to do based on your own needs and values. When someone isn't responding the way you want, and you want to respond in a way that embodies your values, with warmth and patience, examine your reactions. Ask yourself how you can access compassion and action that contributes to the well-being of all.

I love the insights, resources, and inspiration I get from this course. It gives you a glimpse into the support Miki offers around deepening the practice of nonviolence in thought, word, and action.
—Lore Baur, NVCA Course Coordinator, CNVC Certified Trainer.

Miki is sharing what that means "Responding to the Call of our Time" for her and invites us to feel that call. This video illustrates how she is helping participants through teaching, coaching and mentoring so they can move forward with their challenges.

We can see throughout many examples in history that when we look for "who" is at fault, and thereby seek social change through shaming that person (or that group), it tends to lead to disastrous long term consequences. Even if it works in the short term. Instead, if we want to end cycles of violence we can seek to understand systemic causes and context of individuals' behaviour. And from there, look for solutions that stem from this understanding.

How can we hold love, understanding and compassion -- and still confront people about the harmful impact of their actions, hold them accountable, take action, speak truth and advocate for change... all in a manner fully aligned with our values and vision? Read on for how we can do accountability; what kind of action we take and with what motivation; and what our movements for change can look like from this lens.

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

In the third in a series on applying NVC to daily life, Shantigarbha follows directly on from Episode 2, showing us that listening isn't a passive activity, and offers five tips for how to improve our listening skills.

When speaking to decision makers about social change issues it helps to communicate with compassion, clarity, curiosity, calm, and respect while seeking to understand their needs. This way there’s a better chance for more trust and connection that’s crucial for a win-win strategy to come about. This may take several conversations.

Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.

Here are some guidelines and agreements for creating empathy buddy sessions. Includes a list of blocks to empathy.

The focus on patriarchy emerges from the understanding that patriarchy plays a foundational role in everything. Yes, I mean it: everything. Patriarchy is not the same as sexism; patriarchy is to sexism very much what structural racism is to (interpersonal) racism: it's a system that runs independently of any one person's attitudes or behaviors. Join Miki for her first in a series of discussions on patriarchy.

Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions.  Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness.  If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.