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The Difference Between Needs and Requests
  • Time Investment: 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added: 11/30/2014
  • Intro Text:

    Trainer Tip: Knowing the difference between what we need and what we want someone else to do about that need can have a profound impact on our relationships and our happiness.
  • Date Created: 2005
  • Payee: Mary Mackenzie
  • Points: 1
  • Skill Level: Beginner Skill Level

Trainer Tip

When our needs are not being fulfilled,
we follow the expression of what we are observing,
feeling, and needing with a specific request:
we ask for actions that might fulfill our needs.
—Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

In Nonviolent Communication, we see needs as universal. That means that everyone has the same needs for love, support, connection, resources, food, shelter, etc. A request is a specific action we ask of another person to help us meet our needs.

I may need companionship, so I ask a friend to spend time with me over the weekend. Or I may need support, so I ask my partner to help me clean the house. The need is universal; the request is a specific method by which we meet the need.

Be aware of the difference between universal
needs and specific requests today.

This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.

Keywords:

  • consciousness
  • needs
  • requests
  • strategies
  • relationships
  • awareness
  • universal human needs
  • NVC basics
  • Mary Mackenzie

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