NVC Resources on Attention

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

In this brief video, CNVC Certified Trainer and Inner Relationship Focusing Guide and teacher, Gina Cenciose, teaches that our inner relationship is the basis for both Focusing and NVC work.

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the jackal as a metaphor in the NVC world? What can it teach us? Read on for more.

Trainer tip: Empathy, hearing feelings and needs behind someone’s words, can be incredibly healing -- and it can help us come to better understanding and resolution. Empathize with at least on person today. Read on for an example of applied empathy.

When avoidance coping or positive thinking sidesteps challenges, internal and external injustice and unrest also rises as we sidestep our values and integrity. It leaves us in sadness and distress. What's unacknowledged impacts ourselves and others undesirably. To live nonviolently we need to be in touch with what's real. With resonance we can more likely be with what's true, and trust our...

Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.

When deciding if someone crossed your boundaries and how to respond, you may get conflicting opinions on it. These opinions can be coarse attempts to manage life with rules about what should(n’t) happen. Instead, so that you can find where you want to invest your energy, ask yourself questions that reveal what for you is truly in integrity, nourishing, connects to your heart, and deepens self...

Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We...

Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet...

"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to...

What does nonviolence have to do with group facilitation? Miki Kashtan believes that nonviolence is a way of being and living that orients us in all our thoughts, words and deeds toward the integration of truth, love and courage. All nonviolent individual and collective actions are aimed at preserving what serves life and challenging what does not. Facilitation is one clear path for bringing...

Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be...

Trainer Tip: In an efficient group process, clarity is key. Try to only say things if you are clear what you want back from the group. Then ask for what you want so people don’t have to figure it out for you. If someone says something and you’re not sure what he wants back from the group, anyone can assist by saying this: “I’m confused about what you would like from us. Would you help us...

We can shift from being absorbed and identified with our inner chatter and feelings to being the space of awareness of these things. Observe your breath. Then observe your mind generating thoughts. Next, feel sensations of your body, particularly the difficult ones. Now, connect with the underlying energy of needs. Ask your unconscious mind for universal needs words related to what you now...

Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

Grow your compassionate presence with this 3-process exercise. The processes include: Connecting to and feeling the Life Impulse meditation, Creating your own inner space of compassionate presence exercise, and the Compassionately Embracing visualization. These processes will guide you toward deeper self connection and compassionate presence.