NVC Resources on Attention
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Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?
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Trainer Tip: When someone is in pain and lashing out, might be a time when empathy is needed most. Empathizing in these moments can be very challenging. Mary offers a few words of ecouragement for these situations.
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Trainer Tip: Most of us have been conditioned to withhold the expression of our feelings to some degree. Mary offers a tip to de-stigmatize our feelings and relax into our humanness.
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Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction.
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Trainer Tip: It's up to us to get our own needs met. Mary offers some encouraging tips to do just that!
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Trainer Tip: Mourning enables us to heal the pain and gain clarity about how to meet our needs in the present moment.
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Self-Empathy
A Direct Route to Personal Healing
Trainer Tip: It is true that we cannot fully understand other people until we understand ourselves. Gain understanding and healing through self-empathy within the Compassionate Communication process.
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Trainer Tip: Mary expands on one of the basic principles of Nonviolent Communication: valuing everyone’s needs equally.
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What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...
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The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200 members of the KKK to leave the organization.