NVC Resources on Needs

Whether its pandemics, climate change, damage to the environment or other massive challenges that humanity faces, what are we to do if we can't agree on even the most basic information and knowledge? From empathic understanding we can focus on shared, universal human needs (where there is no conflict or disagreement) underlying our perceptions, and feelings. Then we can see if there are ways we...

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs.

We can shift from being absorbed and identified with our inner chatter and feelings to being the space of awareness of these things. Observe your breath. Then observe your mind generating thoughts. Next, feel sensations of your body, particularly the difficult ones. Now, connect with the underlying energy of needs. Ask your unconscious mind for universal needs words related to what you now...

When we feel pain about humans relate to, and conflict with, one another on Earth what can give us capacity to transform it? Perhaps in connection to the formless consciousness of unity we may relax, open, expand -- and connect to formless human needs, a sense of universal well being, benevolence and good will. Loving action flows from here. Suffering shifts into deep healing, grace and new...

The hero/heroine’s journey is a narrative arc and universal archetype at the heart of humanity’s most popular stories. Here, we can connect with the immense power of meaning, purpose, and inspiration, moving us to feel profound emotion, accomplish, and persevere through seemingly impossible challenges. In our polarized world we can think about responding to conflicts from this mythic narrative...

This 4 session telecourse recording offers practices while exploring the relationship between the core elements of NVC and universal spiritual principles.

The regeneration movement employs practices for healing our planet from damage, and boosting Earth sustainability. Environmental and social degradation is deeply connected -- as it comes from the same extractive, exploitive mindset of economic and related systems. Connecting with universal consciousness and needs underlying conflicts, we connect with commonality of all planetary life. This...

Shared story has been a way for groups to unite in opposition to a common enemy. But more divergent and virulent beliefs/stories swirl through the internet and social media, facilitating people to polarize against one another. So notice when you're caught in a polarizing story; try shifting focus to observing your mind; somatic presence; underlying commonality; consciousness as universal need,...

How do we talk to ourselves and with others about polarizing topics in a way that's supportive? Seek to understand and be understood rather than press for agreement. Bring mindfulness into the conversation. Slow down and use structure to support everyone. Release knowing the solutions, answers or outcomes. Keep focus on shared universal needs. From this place we can say what's in our hearts and...

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.

Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.

Among NVC practitioners, empathy can be superficial. How open are you to being influenced by what others are saying? Do you reflect back and then guard and remain within your position of being right, even as you say otherwise? Only when we're eager to be influenced by what they say can we connect, expand our world and thus, shift the field. Without such openness we fool ourselves into thinking...