NVC Resources on Needs
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Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.
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Among NVC practitioners, empathy can be superficial. How open are you to being influenced by what others are saying? Do you reflect back and then guard and remain within your position of being right, even as you say otherwise? Only when we're eager to be influenced by what they say can we connect, expand our world and thus, shift the field. Without such openness we fool ourselves into thinking we are truly empathic listeners.
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Defusing Self-Sabotage
Identifying and Transforming Unconscious Contracts With Empathy (6 session course)
In this 6-session course Sarah Peyton will take you through the 5 levels of unconscious contracts that can create patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeat. Each session introduces a different unconscious contract based on various aspects of relational neuroscience and provides support for the release of these contracts.
Sarah Peyton shows you how, with deep empathy, self-accompaniment, and an understanding of neuroscience, you can free yourself from your original constraints.
It can be bewildering to be human.
We can make so many choices that are not good for us. Why do we persist in habits, incapacities or self-judgments that are harmful to our long-term well-being?
The answer to this question is surprising – it is usually either love – or - paradoxically, survival!
Love is at the root of self-sabotage.
Though we often aren't aware of it, our nervous systems are essentially still paired with our earliest caregivers and often related to how we responded as a child. Our first interactions shape us in ways that can limit our life energy.
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Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and care. With aliveness come joy, peace, love, awe.