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NVC Resources on Feelings

  1. Love as a Need

    Love as a Need

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/14/2017

    Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we consider love to be a need. Remember that needs are universal; everyone has the same ones. We all need love, but the ways in which we express it can be very different.

  2. Getting Your Needs Met

    Getting Your Needs Met

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/6/2021

    We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.

  3. Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

    Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/4/2020

    Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

  4. Comparing Ourselves to Others

    Comparing Ourselves to Others

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/6/2020

    Trainer tip: Comparisons are a form of judgment. The minute we compare ourselves to other people, we are setting ourselves up for pain and discouragement. We are setting them up too, and erecting a barrier between ourselves and them. Instead, notice how you feel about other people’s assets or foibles, and what needs come up for you. Read on for more.

  5. Demands vs Requests

    Demands vs Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/4/2020

    Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

  6. Four Ways to Hear Any Message

    Four Ways to Hear Any Message

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/11/2021

    Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.

  7. Meeting Our Need for Creativity

    Meeting Our Need for Creativity

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/24/2021

    Anytime you create something new in your life, you can fulfill your need for creativity. Expand your concept of what it means to be creative. Read on for examples.

  8. Enjoying Your Life

    Enjoying Your Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/24/2022

    Trainer Tip: The surest way to enjoy life is to do things that meet your needs. If you don’t enjoy a particular activity, consider the need you hope to meet by doing it. For instance, for each item you want to do consider the needs you're trying to meet. Connect to the joy of that need. Then for each ask: “How would I feel if I delayed finishing this item?”. Consider which items you want to continue, pause, or reprioritize. This can help increase life enjoyment.

  9. Trainer Tip: Even when it's tempting to coerce or match might with might, we can strive to meet our needs without negatively affecting others. Instead of convincing anyone to do it our way or to value the same things we value, we can focus on what we value: compassion among people and valuing everyone’s needs. By doing this we are actually more likely to meet our own needs and we are better able to live peacefully.

  10. Financial Freedom and Integrity

    Financial Freedom and Integrity

    (8 Session Course)

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Multi-session Course · 7 hours, 32 minutes · 9/4/2017

    Jim and Jori Manske went from poverty to financial independence in 8 years, and they’re making the process they used available to you! Please join them in this inspiring 8-session program to transform your relationship with money, scarcity and abundance.

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