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NVC Resources on Vulnerability

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Differentiating Needs from Strategies

Trainer Tip "Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy" ——Ralph Waldo Emerson Sometimes it is hard to remember that needs are universal and strategies are specific. Strategies are the methods we use to get our needs met. When we focus on needs, our world can feel abundant with possibility. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce. Conflicts arise when...
How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip "By developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts." —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Expressing how we feel about something gives the other person an idea of how important it is to us. It...
Finding Security in the Face of Fear

In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for...
Alarm Feelings

Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only...
Tools for Mindfulness of Impact in Dialogue

If you want a better connection it's crucial to be mindful about how your communication affects your partner. This means noticing and keeping eye contact, observing body language, and checking for their reactions. You can also share in small increments, check in before sharing vulnerable thoughts, and express what you notice. Give yourself empathy when you notice that you want to be right more...
The Power of Making Requests

Mary Mackenzie explores the fourth component of Nonviolent Communication—making requests—and why it feels like “graduate level” NVC. Asking for what we truly want is vulnerable, yet it’s also a profound gift of honesty and connection in our relationships. With practice, compassion, and creativity, we can build the skills to make requests that deepen trust, foster understanding, and open new...