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NVC Resources on Values

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  1. Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 3/21/2023

    Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to control, shame, or punishment.

  2. How can we hold love, understanding and compassion -- and still confront people about the harmful impact of their actions, hold them accountable, take action, speak truth and advocate for change... all in a manner fully aligned with our values and vision? Read on for how we can do accountability; what kind of action we take and with what motivation; and what our movements for change can look like from this lens.

  3. How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

    How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 8/31/2021

    While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.

  4. Practices For Requesting

    Practices For Requesting

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/15/2022

    Practice making requests for feedback, clarity, and action. Opportunities for making requests might be when you expected something different from what you got, were treated undesirably, and noticed inner constriction or reactivity. Identify observations, feelings, and values to support finding the request. Ensure your request states what you want, is specific, names the present-tense action, and that you're open to feedback.

  5. W.A.I.T: Practices For Presence And Patience

    W.A.I.T: Practices For Presence And Patience

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 04/16/2022

    With these practices make space before reacting to emotion or external stimulus. This can enable your capacity to respond from your self-connection to universally shared values. With practice you can create the capacity to temporarily put impulsiveness aside, in the service of connection with yourself and others, and in service of more informed and effective strategies.

  6. Setting Intentions with Attention

    Setting Intentions with Attention

    Kristin Masters

    Video · 8 minutes · 01/20/2025

    Kristin Masters explores how to approach goal-setting and self-reflection with compassion and mindfulness grounded in NVC principles. She encourages you to examine how conscious choice plays a role in how we treat ourselves and others.

  7. Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Yvette Erasmus

    Video · 6 minutes · 05/23/2023

    The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

  8. Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

    Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/10/2014

    Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction.

  9. Being Honest About Our Anger

    Being Honest About Our Anger

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/23/2014

    Trainer Tip: Mary shares how staying present to our anger and finding the underlying feelings and needs can lead to deeper connection and more satisfying outcomes.

  10. Connecting to Humanity

    Connecting to Humanity

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/2/2015

    Trainer Tip: We can expand our connection to humanity by considering the many strategies people use to meet our common needs.

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