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NVC Resources on Judgment

  1. Enemy Images

    Enemy Images

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/23/2020

    Trainer tip: Judging others can affect our ability to communicate effectively with that person, or enjoy the relationship. Translating the static judgments (enemy images) we have of others into our own and others' feelings and needs can help us move into greater understanding, healing, and relief -- which can foster compassion and connection. Read on for more.

  2. Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

  3. How to Enjoy Your Family Dinner

    How to Enjoy Your Family Dinner

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 49 minutes · 9/18/2013

    If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone.

  4. Confronting with Care

    Confronting with Care

    An Approach that Builds Trust

    Martha Lasley

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 3/3/2020

    People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.

  5. Modeling Our Values With Our Children

    Modeling Our Values With Our Children

    Roxy Manning

    Video · 3 min 34 sec · 5/3/2024

    As parents, aligning our values with our actual behavior can be challenging. In this video, Roxy discusses the importance of modeling behavior for children, both in how they handle challenges and in their overall approach to life. Her message encourages using real-life examples to show that everyone is a work in progress and that it's okay not to be perfect.

  6. How Our Behavior Impacts Our Children

    How Our Behavior Impacts Our Children

    Roxy Manning

    Video · 5 min 30 sec · 03/26/2024

    Children interpret and create meaning from everything they observe. They form a narrative about themselves and their place in the world. Roxy Manning shares how the stories of parents contribute to this narrative. Roxy shares a personal story where she, in an attempt to highlight her son's intellectual gifts, unintentionally influenced him to believe he couldn't do things on his own and wasn't smart. The impact of stories like this on a child's self-perception is long-lasting. Roxy urges us to consider the unintended messages that our words and actions may convey, as these narratives can be challenging to shift once established.

  7. Enemy Images Process and Exercise

    Enemy Images Process and Exercise

    Jeff Brown

    Practice Exercises · N/A · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

  8. "I'm Not Good Enough" and Other Leadership Myths

    "I'm Not Good Enough" and Other Leadership Myths

    Roxy Manning

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 11/27/2018

    Do you yearn to step forward in leadership, but know you're holding back? Clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, and speaker, Roxy Manning, PhD, shows us that more than external factors, its our internal beliefs and fears that provide the main barrier to moving forward.  She does this by taking us through three myths of leadership, and weaves in anecdotes to illustrate how tapping our unique (often lesser recognized) qualities, can be the way forward we've been seeking. Learn ways to move forward, even if at first it appears that (1.) others can "do it better", (2.) you need to be more prepared, or even if (3.) the material you're conveying isn't so original (and has been used many times).

  9. Comparing Ourselves to Others

    Comparing Ourselves to Others

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/6/2020

    Trainer tip: Comparisons are a form of judgment. The minute we compare ourselves to other people, we are setting ourselves up for pain and discouragement. We are setting them up too, and erecting a barrier between ourselves and them. Instead, notice how you feel about other people’s assets or foibles, and what needs come up for you. Read on for more.

  10. From Suffering to Aliveness

    From Suffering to Aliveness

    Not Fighting Reality

    Bob Wentworth

    Audio · 26 minutes · 9/30/2017

    How we relate to life parallels how we relate to others! Learn how to have a more healthy way of relating to situations and people when your needs are not being met. Bob Wentworth offers some wisdom on moving from suffering to aliveness through not fighting what is.

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