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NVC Resources on Conflict

  1. Your Inner Leader

    Your Inner Leader

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 3/4/2019

    When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed due to various life experiences. Without empathy and acknowledgment, our inner parts tend to work against us. That's when we're called upon to build and develop our inner leadership...

  2. When someone doesn't want to talk some options include releasing your attachment to the strategy you want, asking about and affirming with empathy their reasons for not talking, looking for what support could be helpful to shift to more openness, letting go, and grieving. Read on for more on this, including possible reasons for why they might not want to engage on it.

  3. Holding Dilemmas Together in the Workplace

    Holding Dilemmas Together in the Workplace

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 11 - 16 minutes · 12/11/2019

    When we are transparent about our concerns, brainstorm solutions together, and look towards making a decision with the other person, we can increase understanding, partnership, and mutual support. This invites people to work on the same issue from the same direction, collaboratively seek solutions, and tap a deeper wisdom. In the end, the future survival of our species depends on this kind of active interdependence.

  4. The Nuts and Bolts of Not Taking Things Personally

    The Nuts and Bolts of Not Taking Things Personally

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 12 - 18 minutes · 02/11/2020

    Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.

  5. Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

  6. Confronting with Care

    Confronting with Care

    An Approach that Builds Trust

    Martha Lasley

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 3/3/2020

    People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.

  7. Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

    Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 8 - 12 minutes · 9/5/2020

    In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

  8. Expanding The Circle Of Care

    Expanding The Circle Of Care

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 5/4/2022

    Who are you not use to caring about? Is it those you classify as "other"? Those you disagree with? The lower class? People in power? Those who inflict harm? Yourself? To include everyone's needs fully, not instead of your needs, can transform the either/or paradigm. It can also help us to go beyond so-called "codependency". And it can support us all to live more sustainably on this planet.

  9. Sharing Impact for Liberation (part 1 of 2)

    Sharing Impact for Liberation (part 1 of 2)

    Framing the Challenge

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 8/3/2023

    Giving feedback across a differences in culture, race, and power isn't something that we have to do -- but we can choose to do it for our own liberation, if we want. And if we choose that path, impact delivered well can invite caring for all needs and increase capacity to learn. This is the exacting, rigorous work of speaking about impact without attributing anything to the person whose actions resulted in the impact. Read on for part 1 of 2.

  10. Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

    Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 1/12/2021

    The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with it, as lazy or stubborn. Read on for more.

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