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NVC Resources on Blame

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  1. Winning the Blame Game

    Winning the Blame Game

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Audio · 47 minutes · 5/28/2013

    Jim and Jori Manske offer insight into blame, how it arises and how do we handle being blamed and our own blame of others.

  2. From Blame To Power

    From Blame To Power

    Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 12 -18 minutes · 5/31/2022

    Blame is opaque when we don’t reflect on it deeply. We blame when we don’t see ourselves as having power to shape things, and see others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection, power, preparation and engaging options.

  3. Healing the Blame that Binds

    Healing the Blame that Binds

    Kelly Bryson

    Articles · 4 -6 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Exploring how blame hides our inner voice and fuels pain through self-judgment and stories.

  4. Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

    Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 2 - 5 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Learn how to move from blame to understanding when needs aren’t met.

  5. Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

    Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 3/6/2020

    The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.

  6. Blame, Responsibility, And Care

    Blame, Responsibility, And Care

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 11 - 16 minutes · 10/9/2022

    One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - one may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using this principle. Instead, we can hear their pain with care and heartfelt mourning - without guilt nor defensiveness, and whether or not we agree. All this is important if we're sincerely applying compassion. Read on for more.

  7. Replacing Blame With Compassion For Impact

    Replacing Blame With Compassion For Impact

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 6/22/2023

    Blame is a misguided habit that's used to avoid pain and suffering, offering only a momentary distraction and oversimplifies complex histories. It also disconnects us from choice and agency, blocks us from discovering more about ourselves and others, and can keep us from having compassionate, self responsible conversations. Instead, we can practice speaking in terms of impact and notice our experience without trying to escape it.

  8. Without Judgment or Blame

    Without Judgment or Blame

    Bridget Belgrave

    Video · 27 minutes · 9/10/2010

    Bridget Belgrave talks with an interviewer about his response to the term Nonviolent Communication.

  9. Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.

  10. Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

    Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

    Mary Mackenzie

    Articles · 2-3 minutes · 09/05/2025

    Our brains often quickly categorizes things as good, bad, right, or wrong and then determines who’s to blame or praise. Maybe this  supports the illusion of order and predictability, thus provides a false sense of safety and reassurance. But its less effective in truly meeting our needs. By practicing "Living in the Observation," we can focus on reality, avoid unhelpful rumination, and find peace and empowerment in everyday life.

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