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Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

Listen to Yoram Mosenzan discuss requests. He asserts that we can make requests of others and that we are making requests of ourselves throughout the day. The thing that has the biggest impact is how I make requests of myself.

Practice making requests for feedback, clarity, and action. Opportunities for making requests might be when you expected something different from what you got, were treated undesirably, and noticed inner constriction or reactivity. Identify observations, feelings, and values to support finding the request. Ensure your request states what you want, is specific, names the present-tense action, and that you're open to feedback.

In this telecourse recording, expert trainer Miki Kashtan will help you uncover what prevents you from making requests for everything you want without fear. The class includes daily practices for requests skill building.

Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.

 Connection requests focus on the quality of connection between people instead of on any particular strategy or solution. While the core motivation for a connection request may be connection with the other person, varied internal states and needs may help guide us toward different types of connection requests. Self-connection and understanding of our motivation in making a connection request can therefore greatly support our capacity for discovering and articulating what specifically we want from the other person that we believe may contribute to connection.

Use this worksheet to check to see if you’re making a request, rather than a demand. Clarify and connect your request to your needs. Check your motivations. Use a phrase, question, or empathy guess to connect to the person if they say “no”. See sample requests for actions, offers, and for deepening understanding.

Sylvia Haskvitz offers a practical and effective approach to making requests. Learn the two questions that can clarify your motivation for making a request, three ways to discern a request from a demand, and five possible reasons for meeting requests.

Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.

Trainer Tip: Clarifying our requests can make the difference between frustration and satisfaction, Mary shows you how.