Search the NVC Library

“Nonviolence” is not just a political tactic. It is a “soul force,” a courageous and compassionate stand in the face of what seems to us unjustly unequal, oppressive, and violent. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love.. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love. It is speaking and listening with courage, compassion, and an open heart and mind and rooted in our truth in a way that bridges understanding. And doing so without demand nor trying to convince -- all in the face of any anger, fear, oppression, inequality, violence or disagreement.

• Inscrease compassion for yourself through understanding why your capacity may lag so far behind your commitment and what you can do to bridge the gap
• Higher Compassion for your children as you understand better what life is like from within their own experience rather than from the outside looking in
• Surge in energy that you can put into new conversations with them designed to make agreements that are based on the truth of where you all are rather than on any "should"

• Unpack interpersonal, internalized, and institutional racism from the lens of NVC consciousness
• Hear and share personal stories and the impacts of racism, power, and privilege 
• Learn how to translate “hard to hear" messages into meaningful conversations 
• Expand and deepen the conversation of systemic and interpersonal racism

Heal, reconnect and cultivate presence through self compassion as you restore wholeness.

Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for more ideas for how to handle the pain.

• Learn how to use empathy to dissolve conflict
• Deepen your NVC skills to help let go of judgments
• Explore approaches for asking for what you want
• Listen to the conflict within yourself

Deepen your connection to life, nurture inner healing, and live more compassionately.

When deciding if someone crossed your boundaries and how to respond, you may get conflicting opinions on it. These opinions can be coarse attempts to manage life with rules about what should(n’t) happen. Instead, so that you can find where you want to invest your energy, ask yourself questions that reveal what for you is truly in integrity, nourishing, connects to your heart, and deepens self understanding. Read on for examples.

Dear friends,

#UnlockYourAuthenticVoice 

This has been on my mind lately. What does it mean to unlock my authentic voice? How do I talk about things that matter to me without creating emotional distance between myself and others? I’ve found this especially challenging after the US presidential election this month— half the voters are devastated by Donald Trump’s election, and the other half are elated. The extremes are vast. Sometimes imagining a coming-together feels hopeless. 

Anger and resentment can signal unmet needs. Through mourning those needs and practicing self-empathy, we may let go of blame, embrace reality, and reclaim responsibility for fulfilling our own needs. This process may lead to emotional transformation through conscious reflection, and a new outlook.

Dear friends,

This morning, I woke up thinking about a poignant moment from a few years ago. My wife, Kim, and I were driving down a busy 4-lane road, and we were in a hurry to get somewhere important. Then we saw a mama duck with many small ducklings trying to get across the street. Kim pulled over, and we both hopped out to stop 4 lanes of traffic so Mama Duck could get across with all her ducklings. The last one had some kind of injury, so it took a very, very long time for all of them to make it across.

• Gain a deeper understanding of trauma through the lens of NVC
• Learn how to connect with ALL needs, even when we’ve been taught to suppress some of them
• Grow capacity to creatively move towards our deepest longings interdependently
• Discover how you can call people back to life when they are in the thick of patterned behavior

What would happen if you considered that time is a concept, and that it doesn't rule your life? What would it mean to make all choices based on needs and not on time? Do you obey the external rhythm of the clock over and above the internal rhythm of your life energy? This is an invitation into more responsibility, awareness, honesty, choice and freedom.

We each have the power to be the creator of our own inner experience, no matter what is going on externally. The moment you imply wrongness on others, you give power to them. In this excerpt, Aya Caspi shows that the more self-responsibility you take, the more freedom you will have.  

When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.

We each have the power to be the creator of our own inner experience.